America for dummies

Major defense stocks surge to all-time highs after Trump’s tough rhetoric against North Korea. That means there are some Americans who aren’t scared shitless right now – everybody hoping to make money off of a war.

Rex Tillerson said “Americans should sleep well at night” because he does. He sleeps well during the day, too. He loves his naps.

Interesting that Trump does a nuclear war poll dance the day before we find out that the FBI raided former Trump campaign manager’s house. Warrants, unlike subpoenas, require probable cause. Paul Manafort is in big trouble.

“I bet a lot of folks in the Trump administration are sleeping fully clothed in anticipation of early morning FBI raids” – Andy Lassner

“Trump knew North Korea would be a problem. Yet he intentionally keeps vacant EVERY diplomatic position that is relevant to solving this crisis” – Senator Chris Murphy

“I don’t want to be alarmist, but we’re all gonna die” – Stephen Colbert

The media showed up expecting to hear about Trump’s statement on the opioid crisis. He took the opportunity to threaten North Korea so everybody would stop talking about Russia. When he finally got around to saying something about the opioid crisis he said, “Just say no,” and then took credit for coming up with such a good one liner.

We wouldn’t be in a game of chicken with North Korea right now if Hillary Clinton was president. If Hillary Clinton was president we wouldn’t be talking Russia all day, every day. If Hillary Clinton was president, we wouldn’t be the laughing stock of the world.

August 4th is now Barack Obama Day in Illinois, his birthday. New York has declared Trump’s birthday as Big Fat Liar Day.

We’ve dumbed down America by defunding public education, demonizing educated people as elitists, and making dumb people think they’re smart by letting them believe if they watch Fox News and listen to talk radio they’ve got it going on. Now here we are – a third of the country is a bunch of superstitious gullible idiots who vote Republican.

Personal opinion, religious interpretation, and emotion seduce low information voters while facts, science, education and objectivity are viewed with suspicion and contempt. There is no reasoning with these people because reason is bad.

Rick Perry is in charge of the nuclear arsenal and we don’t have a State Department.

Senator Lindsey Graham says China better deal with the nut job in their backyard or they’ll have to deal with a war in their backyard.

Going to war with North Korea means going to war with China.

California crops are rotting because farm workers are either getting deported or they’re not showing up for work because they’re afraid of getting deported. Unemployed white people won’t take those jobs. Farmers are offering salaries above minimum wage, paid time off and retirement plans, but nah.

Russia flew a military observation plane at 3,500 feet over the Capitol, Pentagon, and CIA.

Someone took one of those giant inflatable chickens wearing a Trump toupee and put it outside of the White House. While Fox News was covering the Russian jet flying over DC, the camera picked up the chicken. Shepard Smith asked, “What is that?” Reporter replied (trying to keep a straight face,) “Shep, it appears to be a chicken.”

Republican hypocrites fun fact: After demonizing Hillary Clinton for 30 years and disrespecting Obama for 8 years, the Republicans want everybody to show their lying, dangerous, incompetent, criminal fool of a president some respect.

Trump says he’s working really hard while he golfs but he won’t say what he’s working on. The White House has yet to admit that he actually golfs.

Hurry up Mueller

Since the repugs couldn’t kill Obamacare, they’ll use their power in the government to suffocate it by withholding federal payments to the insurance companies so that they’ll pull out of the ACA market. The repugs will blame Obamacare. The Dems are really sucking at getting this message out.

Not only are we paying for Trump’s vacation but we’re paying him to take it. Every meal he consumes, every round of golf, every night in his club, we’re paying for it and he’s profiting from it.

House Democrats are sending a letter to federal agencies asking what business they are doing with Trump businesses. The Secret Service has been paying rent to Trump Tower. Trump entertains heads of state at his branded properties and the government picks up the tab. It’s impropriety – the federal government is enriching the president of the US.

Trump said during the campaign that he’d be the first president to make money off of being president. He has kept one promise.

75% of Americans don’t trust anything that comes out of the White House.

The White House is suppressing the latest research on climate change.

Nikki Haley says that the president does believe in climate change.

Greenland is on fire.

Trump says he has won all sorts of environmental awards.

“Cancel all global warming payments!” Trump yelled from the bathroom.

There is $17 trillion waiting to be made in renewable energy but Trump doesn’t want to do business with renewable energy. He’s moving on the coal miner’s daughter like a bitch and she’s letting him.

Dear Leader told the other Dear Leader that if they don’t quit threatening us they will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen before. After that, North Korea threatened to bomb Guam.

North Korea is a powder keg and Trump has control of the nuclear codes.

Meanwhile on Fox News: Transgender Athletes: Unfair Competition?

So much for Americans getting a vacation from Trump while he is on vacation. That “fire and fury” comment was spontaneous and very king like – nobody knew he was going to say it. In the midst of all of it, Trump tweeted about the New York Times, The Washington Post, his poll numbers, and Hillary Clinton.

Rex Tillerson is taking a nap. There is a sign outside of his door – DO NOT DISTURB.

37% of the country has confidence in Trump’s handling of North Korea. Who are these people?

Pat Robertson thinks that Eric Bolling, news anchor for Fox News, was set up. “They” (evil liberals) sent a picture of a wiener to a bunch of women who work at Fox but it wasn’t Eric’s wiener. He would never do that. He is a good Catholic and goes to mass everyday– somebody had to have set him up. He also said that “they” got rid of Roger Ailes, too. Roger Ailes died in May.

“Which dick pics would Jesus tweet?” – Randi Rhodes

The three Republicans competing for Jeff Session’s seat in Alabama are (surprise!) three old white confederate Christian men who want to see the south rise again just like Jesus did. Roy Moore is in the lead. He’s a former judge who refused to remove the Ten Commandments at the judicial building. If he is the winner, he’ll whip the Senate into shape with his Bible belt.

Trump may not have any interest in daily intelligence briefings (they have to be short with lots of bullet points and graphics,) but he is always interested in his TWICE daily briefings of all of the complimentary tweets, positive Fox News and Breitbart coverage, and flattering photos one of his staffers who is charged with that research brings to him while he watches TV.

Trump sent Robert Mueller a nice note.

The Trump campaign has handed over 20,000 documents to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

The FBI raided Paul Manafort’s home in Virginia on July 26.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: The Chair of the House Intelligence Committee, Devin Nunes, stepped aside in the Russia investigation in April after the press found out that he had been helping Trump stay ahead of the story. A couple of his staffers went to London in July to track down Christopher Steele, the guy who wrote the dossier about Trump’s adventures in Russialand. When asked about it, the staffers said that they happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to drop in on Steele.

Trump tweeted this morning that his first order as president was to renovate and modernize our nuclear arsenal. “It’s now far stronger and more powerful than ever before.” This is total bullshit but it’s going to keep America awake at night, scared shitless that this idiot is going to get us into a nuclear war.

He’s got an approval rating of 35%. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

The world is way more scared of our nut with nukes than North Korea’s nut with nukes.

Chicken run

It’s rainy in New Jersey. Poor Donnie can’t go outside to play so he’s staying inside, eating fried chicken, drinking Diet Coke, and getting caught up on his tweeting.

The Fairness Doctrine was a policy of the FCC that kept the media from bullshitting viewers. Anything that went over the public airwaves had to be honest, equitable, and balanced. Then Reagan abolished it which gave rise to right wing radio, televangelists, and the Moral Majority who rounded up congregations to vote Republican which gave rise to really rich right wing people buying up all the little radio stations so they could air right wing propaganda on several stations in red states all day long which gave rise to 24 hours a day cable “news” Republican propaganda Faux News which gave rise to alt right websites and blogs which gave rise to “fake news” which gave rise to “President Trump” and state TV, “Real News” filmed in Trump Tower starring Trump’s daughter in law.

Does Trump’s daughter in law get press clearance now?

Trump’s talking head (his daughter in law, what’s her name) told whoever was watching his show that Trump has created 1 million jobs, unemployment rate is at a 16 year low, and consumer confidence is at a 16 year high.

The president of the united states got his briefing this morning from Fox News.

The morning media is reporting on Trump’s tweets.

Chicken Little Mitch McConnell says the sky is still falling.

A very clever activist projected the Russian flag and “follow the money” on the side of Trump SoHo. People dressed as Russian soldiers stood at attention in front of the building.

Congressman Buddy Carter of Georgia says Trump will be president for 8 years and that the Affordable Care Act is a train wreck. Buddy is a fried chicken.

Chicken shit Republican Congressman Darrell Issa said the Affordable Care Act is “Stalin-type socialism.” Hey Democratic National Party!! You should do man-in-the-street interviews in “real America” and use them in your 2018 TV commercials. First question – “What’s a stalin?”

America is running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

The judiciary branch is chicken soup for America’s soul.

When Democratic Congresswoman Maxine Waters was asked how long it will to take for Trump to be impeached she answered, “I don’t know, but I give it till December.”

Sean Hannity wants his viewers to boycott Rachel Maddow’s advertisers. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Rubber chicken! Rubber chicken!

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Mike Pence says he’s not running for president in 2020.

Guitarist and co-founder of the band Journey, Neal Schon, is really pissed at the rest of the band for going to the White House and posing for photos. He said it could be the end of the band. They could be going their Separate Ways.

Trump says he’s going to give a major briefing on the opioid crisis today at 3:00.Will he call addicts losers or will he try and cash in on anti-nausea and constipation remedies?

Nixon’s last meal on the job was cottage cheese, pineapple and milk.Trump’s will be a tub of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Diet Coke, which he’ll profit from, bigly.

Why did the Republican cross the road? He thought the chicken had money.

200 days

Rex Tillerson’s entire senior administrative team has resigned. All of them were career foreign service officers who served under both Republican and Democratic administrations.They jumped ship before it went down with them. We have virtually nobody managing the State Department and overseas posts. Will he hire people to fill those jobs? He hasn’t even nominated anyone to most of the department’s 38 highest-ranking jobs. It’s just Rex, his desk, a coffee pot and a phone.

Tillerson told Russia the US will respond by Sept.1 to Putin’s move to expel our diplomats from Moscow. They can’t pretend to scold him now because Trump is golfing.They’ll deal with it later.

There was a terrorist attack at a Muslim mosque in Minnesota. Trump hasn’t said a word.

58% of Republican voters think college is a bad thing.

The GOP and the right wing media have dumbed down their party over the past 30 years in order to get elected to such an extent that only narrow minded, hateful, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, willfully ignorant white people proudly identify as being Republicans. Now that America is at this impasse with Trump and his family in the White House, Russiagate, and a corrupt Republican party, the liberals are being blamed, once again, for being self-segregating snobs. The question isn’t whether liberals need to fix all of this by crossing the street to love, understand and excuse the haters. The question is what self-respecting, decent human being would have anything to do with narrow minded, hateful, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic willfully ignorant people?

There are people who believe that Trump was chosen by God to lead America. The Republicans have succeeded in dumbing down God, too.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republican members of congress are not regular working stiffs.They’re all educated, rich snobs.

Trump voters think that the stock market affects them.

What exactly is being renovated in the White House? Are they installing nanny cams in the Oval Office, TV room, kitchen and bathrooms?

Here’s what Twitler tweeted at 4 a.m.: “The Trump base is far bigger & stronger than ever before (despite some phony Fake News polling). Look at rallies in Penn, Iowa, Ohio…….” He’s campaigning from his toilet in the presidential suite of his New Jersey golf club.

“Bragging about the continued support of your political base is like boasting that your parents still love you” – Michael Cohen.

Next week he’s headed for New York for “more meetings.” He will be met with some resistance. Make that a lot of resistance. New pink pussy hats are being crocheted at this very moment.

Twitler went after Senator Richard Blumenthal on Twitter like a thirteen year old mean girl. The president of the United States is a mean girl.

Most recent group to make Trump’s hit list: defenseless seniors at the end of their lives, stuck in their beds in crummy nursing homes. If someone beats them up or starves them, they can’t sue.

Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein says Robert Mueller can investigate any crimes he uncovers in Russia probe. This could take awhile.

It’s been 200 days.

Golfing with goats

What if renovating the White House was a ploy to get Twitler out of the house so the FBI could dig around without Twitler live tweeting every minute of it? Instead of “under construction” signs, they could put up “keep out” signs and yellow crime tape.

Trump gets off on being cruel.

Trump gets off on blowing through money that isn’t his.

Trump will set anybody up to take the rap for him, even his own kids.

Trump never really wanted to be president. He just wanted to win.

Trump is so arrogant he thinks he’s better than president.

Narcissists and sociopaths can’t be helped. Once an asshole, always an asshole, especially if you’re 71. He will never change.

Republican hypocrites fun fact: The GOP used to stand for national defense. It never considered Russia a friend.Today Republicans are not only useless against Russia infiltrating the White House, some of them might very well be in on it.

VP Pence will be giving a 2020 campaign speech to the Koch Brother’s nonprofit political activist group, Americans for Prosperity, in two weeks.

Trump is golfing at his New Jersey golf club but he says he’s not. He’s working.

Trump keeps a herd of goats on his New Jersey golf course property so he can take advantage of a tax break for farmers. Instead of paying $80,000 in annual taxes, he only pays $1,000.

Not to be upstaged by Putin, Trump took off his shirt and posed with a fish on his farm, flanked by two naked milk maids wearing sashes, “How great thou art.”

Another creepy Fox News anchor gets the creepy boot after he sent female co-workers pictures of his wiener. Fox News viewers are calling it a dick hunt.They don’t believe it. It can’t be his wiener.The Democrats must have done it.

Fox News viewers are being told that Robert Mueller is a dirty cop working for the Democrats.

Norman Lear is saying NO WAY to being honored by Trump at the Kennedy Center. NO WAY.

Most of us are here because our broke ass non-English speaking great, great, great grandparents fled a crummy life to make a go of it here.

“Probably the easiest way to understand the US is to remember that everyone here firmly believes they are above average at most things” – Mara Wilson

More robots are headed for Wisconsin. Immigrants are readying themselves for a new wave of go Back to Mexico bashing.

Indiana officials are investigating Mike Pence’s emails but Hillary’s emails.

A video has surfaced of Trump’s adviser, Stephen Miller, making a speech in high school. In it he said he was sick and tired of being told to pick up his trash when they had plenty of janitors who were paid to do it for him.

That guy in the red MAGA hat sitting behind Trump at the West Virginia pep rally who was so smitten with Dear Leader? His name is Richard Paulus and he used to be a surgeon. He was convicted on 11 counts of fraud in September 2015 for performing unnecessary procedures on patients’ hearts so he could bill insurance companies.He was acquitted because he was so rich from ripping off insurance companies and putting his patients lives at risk that he could afford more attorneys to argue that he didn’t get a fair trial. This could be the only MAGA hat wearing groupie that actually does have anything real in common with Trump.

While Trump putts, the White House administration strokes, the attorney general digs himself out of a hole, the handicapped continue to stage die-ins in senators’ offices, the American public flips the birdie, and the FBI renovates the White House. FORE!

Attorney General Jeff Sessions did a press conference to say that the Department of Justice is going to crack down on leakers and the press. They’re going to prosecute anyone who isn’t loyal to Trump. He claims that more classified information has leaked in 6 months than the previous 3 years combined, when we didn’t have a madman in power. “Rogue anonymous sources with security clearances” are going to be prosecuted as criminals. He was talking to Trump, not because he opens his big mouth and leaks classified information on Twitter, TV, and to the Russians in the Oval Office. No, he didn’t say this to warn Twitler to knock it off, he did it because he wants Trump to like him again.

Did it work? Will the media stop talking about the Russia investigation and talk about a DIFFERENT investigation – LEAKERS???!!!!

Whistle Blowers Anonymous meeting – Saturday morning at the Capitol Hill Wake Up Cafe at tee time.

The Milk People don’t meet. They just want to be left alone.

How do we know if it’s a good leak (you guys, you’ll never believe what’s going on in the White House – this shit is crazy – HELP!) or a bad leak (top secret information that could get us all killed)? Depends.

Amazon is selling toilet paper with Trump’s tweets printed on it.

MSNBC reporter did a man in the halls of congress interview asking the same question, “Is Trump honest?” Answers correlated with the amount of brown on each politician’s nose.

Kellyanne wants a lie detector in the White House but she won’t be using it.

Twitler went to coal country and told everybody there that he saved them. Everybody went crazy. He did it! He did it! He saved the coal industry and made America great again! When he got home, he retweeted the electoral map.

300 coal jobs were created.

Trump got tired of the search for a new FBI director so he said, “Just pick somebody.”

Twitler moved into his New Jersey country club for a couple of weeks to get away from the General because nobody puts Baby in the corner.

Remember “pharma bro” Martin Shkreli, the 34 year old shit who raised the price of a life saving drug by 5,000%? He was just convicted on three counts of fraud in federal court. He could do 20 years in prison on each count, plus another 5 years on the final count. Maybe the warden will let him share a cell with Jared Kushner since they’re the same age and color and have balance sheets with unearned income in common.

Obama handed Trump an economy that was close to what economists consider full employment but Trump continues to tell his base that the economy was a disaster and only he can save them.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republicans aren’t talking about the second amendment or abortion right now because it’s not election season.

Enjoy your two week vacation, America.

What time is it?

The needy, narcissistic, sociopathic, pathological liar timed a Dear Leader rally while news broke that Robert Mueller impaneled a second grand jury to investigate Trump and his campaign. He went into the safe zone in West Virginia to throw dripping, warm, fresh meat to a crowd of angry, white low information voters. He needed to feed his ego and keep his base in check. There were no carefully placed people behind Trump holding signs that read, “Women for Trump,” “Blacks for Trump,” or “Gays for Trump.” No time for that. He told the crowd that the Russia investigation is a hoax and that investigators should be looking into Hillary’s 33,000 e-mails, her paid speeches to Russia, her businesses with Russia, and the uranium she sold to angry Russians. The crowd went crazy! “LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!”

Trump told his groupies that the whole Russia thing is because the Democrats are sore losers.They can’t get over losing. It was the biggest loss in the history of American politics. The crowd went wild and believed every word of it because Fox News viewers will believe anything. They don’t know it, but they’re running out of time.

Mr. Potato Heads goosed Mrs. Potato Heads throughout the crowd while the Dead Duck President was talking because that kind of amped up Fox News rhetoric gets their spuds up. Duck duck goose.

MSNBC and CNN didn’t air Trump’s prime time speech. It’s about damn time.

A grand jury can subpoena Trump. It’s about damn time.

It’s rare for grand juries not to indict. If you lie you go to jail. It’s just a matter of time.

If subpoenaed, he’ll have to appear before the grand jury without his lawyer. He’ll be all alone, sitting on a hard chair, staring at people who have power over him. Will he take his lawyer’s advice and plead the fifth or will he go nuts and blather on and on in an attempt to gain power over the grand jury? He won’t be able to keep his mouth shut. He’ll make an ass out of himself and will shoot himself in the country club foot for the very last time. It’s about damn time.

Republicans are starting to break with the ranks and fall out of line. It’s about damn time.

The Senate has unanimously blocked Trump from making recess appointments. Senators will meet pro forma during recess so Trump can’t fire anybody and then appoint anyone new on his own. Country before party? Bipartisanship? IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Actor James Woods said that he has ever witnessed such hatred for a man who is willing to work for free to make his beloved country a better place. “It is pathological,” he said. Defending shitty Republicans is James Woods’s favorite past time.

Russia’s prime minister warned Trump that the US “establishment” is out to get him. They don’t like him. They’re making him look like a dope.

Transcripts leaked out that captured what Trump said to the leaders of Mexico and Australia soon after he took the thrown. He asked the President of Mexico to go along with him about the wall so he wouldn’t look like a dope. He asked the Prime Minister of Australia to go along with him about not taking any refugees so he wouldn’t look weak. This pissed our allies off which pissed the Boy King off – he said talking to Putin was easier and more enjoyable than talking to them.

The Secret Service had to move out of Trump Tower into a trailer on the street because the landlord wanted too much rent.

Angie’s List advertises on Sean Hannity’s show.

California congressman Darrell Issa took the time to tell one of his constituents to shut up in a parking lot. Someone video taped it and put it on the internet. Good times.

Someone hacked into a digital sign on a highway leading in to California’s state capitol in Sacramento that read, “Trump has herpes.” Caltrans took its time fixing it.

After the news broke about the second grand jury, a double rainbow appeared above the White House. It’s about time.

English only

Trump is going to be in big trouble with his new boss, General Kelly. He just tweeted that our relationship with Russia is at an all-time low and that it’s all congress’s fault.

Trump signed the Russian sanctions bill (“even though it’s flawed”) off camera. He didn’t make a strong statement against Russia, but he did take the opportunity to blast Congress. The bill targets the Russian mining and oil industry, punishes Putin for interfering with our election, and smacks Russia for its military aggression in Ukraine. Trump said the bill encroaches on the executive branch’s authority to negotiate. He said it was unconstitutional which is really funny because he’s never read the constitution.

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson did his very first press briefing in 6 months. He’s mad about the sanctions too and won’t use the $80 million allocated by Congress to combat Russian propaganda because he doesn’t want to make Russia mad.

Kellyanne Conway was asked if Trump talked to Putin before signing the bill and she said, “No comment.”

When a reporter asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders if the president lied she said “No.”

Putin called Trump a pussy (the ungrabbable kind.)

Trump has launched his own “real news” channel for his personal Facebook page. He hired his daughter in law to be his news anchor to spin all of the great stuff that Trump does every day because the fake news doesn’t cover that.

Trump’s immigration reforms will “favor applicants who speak English,” and prevents new migrants from collecting welfare which they can’t do already. The White House wants to cut legal immigration by 50%. Trump says only the best immigrants are going to be able get in to the country. The best. They have to know English before they can get in and if you ask any questions about that Stephen Miller will yell at you in front of millions of people and call you a cosmopolitan snob.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Stephen Miller grew up in blue, blue, groovy lefty Santa Monica in a groovy lefty family. He’s a self-hating Jew. People who grew up with him say he hasn’t changed. He is the same creepy weird kid that groovy lefty kids don’t want to peace out with.

“Told my older son tonight: next time he commits treason I’m not writing him a note” – Josh Marshall

“I hope when my kids are 39, they still want me to help them with their treason” – Molly Jong-Fast

“Only Donald Trump could make the Boy Scouts and the Statue of Liberty controversial” – Jon Meacham

Trump said the Boy Scouts gave him a standing ovation. There weren’t any chairs.

The Department of Justice is going after university affirmative action so that mediocre rich kids like Trump’s kids and Jared Kushner won’t have to compete with anybody who is smarter than them and not white.

Generals Mattis and Kelly agreed in the earliest weeks of Trump’s presidency that one of them should remain in the United States at all times to keep tabs on the Boy King.

Twitler’s approval rating is 33%. What would it be if the DOW wasn’t at 22,000?

Trump is going to take his first vacation since the inauguration, a 17-day getaway to his private New Jersey golf club. On the one hand, WTF? A 17 day vacation after 6 months on a new job? Who gets that? Did he ever give a new employee the same benefit? On the other hand, woo-hoo! America gets a 17 day vacation!

Attorney Jeff Sessions doesn’t like black people or marijuana. He wants to throw all stoners in jail. Black Senator Cory Booker has written a bill to legalize marijuana on a federal level because people of color are disproportionately jailed for things that many congress members either do or did. When young people of color are busted for pot it ruins their lives. Rich white kids have the best pot and they never get arrested.

When asked if he was running for president, Cory Booker said he was running FROM the president.

If Cory Booker does run for president, he’s got the millennial vote. While his opponents campaign at state fairs and fish fries, he’ll be making speeches at cannabis clubs.

Donald J Trump – the dead duck president.

Dump the trump

Sarah Huckabee Sanders told the press corp that the President of the United States told his son to lie about his role in an investigation that could prove that his campaign worked with the Russians to get dirt on his opponent because that’s what good fathers do.

Ivanka and Melania were offended by Mooch talking about sucking your own c**ck but their dad and husband saying grab ‘em by the pussy was fine because that’s what good fathers do.

Lindsey Graham had to admit that Trump telling Junior to lie doesn’t look good.

Trump is going to dump an anti-immigration bill on us today.

Members of Trump’s cabinet have started gathering for a weekly Bible study. What would Jeffrey Lord say?

Trump accidentally walked in on the Bible thumping, looked around the room and said, “What a dump.” Bible thump, bible thump, dump. Bible thump, bible thump, dump. Bible thump, bible thump, dump.

One out of three Americans knows that Trump is a lying sack of Russian poop but they don’t care.

The idiots in the White House are using personal email accounts. Um, hello?

A hacking prankster sent fake emails to Beavis, Butthead, and Mooch, and they all fell for it.

Trump hasn’t signed the Russian sanctions bill but he has sent the bobble head vice president out to make a statement to the press – syrupy fake sincerity and make believe determination to buy Trump a little more time. Now that he has bought some time will he pay? Because that’s what a good father would do.

The fake president told golfers that he prefers to spend weekends at his own properties because the White House is a dump. Trump has spent 30% of his time as president at his own properties.

Dump Breitbart, Drudge Report and Fox News. Fake news.

A former Fox News contributor is suing Fox News for spinning a story that Hillary Clinton had a DNC staffer killed because he had damning information about her from Wikileaks. He says that Fox News and Trump worked together to create the story to help him and his campaign. Sean Spicer lied at first and said he didn’t know anything about the story. Now he’s saying he did know about it. It’s payback time. Trump dumped on him so Spicer gets to dump on Trump.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Newt Gingrich. He’s a Republican hypocrite all right, one of the worst, but he is not fun, and you can’t use the word fact and Newt Gingrich in the same sentence. He is an out of control, blithering has been who contributes nothing to a meaningful society. Plus he’s a shitty dad.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty back together again.

Day 3 for General Kelly: To tweet or not to tweet.

Robert Mueller has hired the 16th attorney to join his team – an expert on foreign bribery.

Trump says the head of the Boy Scouts called him and said his speech was the greatest speech ever. His surrogates went on TV to defend him saying, “Yes that was the greatest speech ever and the Boy Scouts and the country loved it.”

Chris Wray is the new head of the FBI. The Senate confirmed him. Comey’s job has been dumped on him.

Trump took a dump on Jeffrey Lord’s desk and he’s still defending him.

How’s the “American Dream Week” going for everybody?

The president of the United States does not know what a filibuster is.

The White House is a dumpster fire.

Pink underwear

Trump committed a high crime up in the air on Airforce One. On the flight back from the G20 Summit, he told Junior what to say about his meeting with the Russians, just like he used to tell him what to say to his mother when he was a kid when strange women would show up at their gilded tower.

Eric went on Fox News to say that the country loves his father. His father told him to say that.

Mooch got fired before he was actually hired. In 10 days, he got fired, missed the birth of his son, and got divorced.

“Thou shalt not take moochers into thy hut” – Homer Simpson.

Remember when the Republicans said they wanted a president who would just sign whatever was put in front of him?

Now that the Republicans have finished building their Frankenstein and he’s going from village to village raping, pillaging, and letting the air out of tires, the Republicans are back in the lab, wondering what to do now. Do they kill the monster or do they wait and let the monster kill them?

The Beverly Hillbillies go to Washington, episode “The Clampetts Get Evicted” in which Jed (Trump) tells Jethro (Junior) to lie about a hillbilly scandal involving Granny (Jeff Sessions) and her Russian cousins (one of whom is a lawyer) who have come to town. The neighbors totally freak out and call the FBI because the Russians are here! The Russians are here! Meanwhile Elly May (Ivanka) trains her monkeys to tweet and sew, while the producer’s kid (Jared) hangs around the set and creeps everybody out.

Putin is threatening to kick 755 people out of the US embassy as retribution for Trump breaking his vows.

Florida is getting very nervous. Hurricane Trump is coming.

The White House is leaking so much, the levy is going to break.

Kellyanne Conway doesn’t want anyone to call Twitler by his first name. Except his kids. They can keep calling him Daddy War Bucks.

Ivanka has never attended a morning meeting because she does whatever she wants.

Twitler has been tweeting this morning. Looks like General Kelly didn’t get his phone. Day 2.

The Trump administration is putting out an aggressive tax reform bill so sit back, relax, and wait for the shit show.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: A federal court has found the former racist Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio guilty of criminal contempt for willfully violating a 2011 federal court order that required him to stop racially profiling brown skinned people and detaining them because they don’t like Mexicans. While sheriff, Arpaio made jail inmates wear pink underwear, he’d hold them in jail longer so they’d miss court dates and get picked up by immigration agents, and he vowed to investigate President Barack Obama’s birth certificate. Trump LOVES Arpaio and would name his wall after him if he wasn’t such a narcissist. He praised Arpaio for being willing to pay the price for “a form of civil disobedience”. He could go to jail for 6 months. Everybody send him some pink underwear.

What has gone down in the past 6 months has shown us that not only does the American oligarchy and Republican party not care about decency, compassion, justice and democracy for our own country, they don’t care about it for the entire world.

Everybody looks guilty.

Trump said he was going to unify the country and he did – against him.