False profits

Joel Osteen is blocking people who troll him on Twitter for calling him a hypocrite. He told CNN he doesn’t read tweets.

Joel Osteen blames a false narrative for Hurricane Harvey criticism. Suffering people of Houston blame a false profit.

Joel Osteen blames the city for not telling him to open his megachurch to shelter the homeless and is now offering free prayers.

Pat Robertson said that God’s main weapon of choice is a flood. He suggests that people start building an ark, like Noah, and start putting neighbors and pets in the ark, two-by-two. But don’t let any gays in the ark because the flood is their fault.

Ann Coulter said she doesn’t believe that the flood happened because Houston elected a lesbian mayor but it’s more believable than climate change.

A peroxide chemical plant near Houston has been overtaken by water and has exploded. Residents who haven’t left yet have been told to turn off their air conditioning, close their windows and stay put.

It’s flooding in south Asia, too.

Trump is feeling sorry for himself. He tweeted, “After reading the false reporting and even ferocious anger in some dying magazines, it makes me wonder, WHY? All I want to do is #MAGA!”

Trump went to Missouri to campaign on the tax payers’ dime which is illegal but so what. He tried to sell a tax plan that doesn’t exist. He didn’t have any specifics but the crowd clapped anyway (he doesn’t know that the tax plan needs to come out of the House committee first.) He told them to vote Senator Claire McCaskill out if she doesn’t do what he says and they clapped louder. When he said that his tax cut plan would be good for them because it would be good for their bosses, they didn’t clap so much.

In a focus group in Pennsylvania, Trump voters said they were disappointed in Trump but that they wouldn’t take their votes back. When asked if they knew who Robert Mueller was, they all said no.

Robert Mueller has teamed up with the New York Attorney General. Trump has diarrhea and needs a pep rally STAT!

The Pentagon is super charged and the rest of the government is being starved by the Trump administration. Generals are in charge. This is a dangerous imbalance.

Trump tweeted, “The U.S. has been talking to North Korea, and paying them extortion money, for 25 years. Talking is not the answer!”

Some people are taking offense at other people criticizing Melania for wearing stilettos to a hurricane because it demeans all women and reduces them to fashion objects. As if Melania represents all women, particularly feminists.

The only feminist thing about Melania is that she told the most powerful man in the world that he may not grab her pussy.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Ted Cruz isn’t the only Texas senator who voted against federal funding for Hurricane Sandy. John Cornyn did too, along with 23 GOP members of the Texas House delegation. The one lone yes vote was Rep. John Culberson from HOUSTON. The Dems voted yes.

As the flood waters rise, the Penthouse President never gets his feet wet. The floatus puts her feet up and fantasizes about more shoes.

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Hurricane chic

Trump and the Third Lady went to Texas. Donald was wearing his dress down, one of the guys, jacket and a USA cap (available for $40 on his campaign website) and Melania was wearing 4” stilettos, designer flood pants and accessory cool shades for cloudy weather. She did a wardrobe change aboard Air Force One so she could deplane and walk the runway tarmac wearing hurricane casual, complete with a cap that said FLOTUS.

After getting to their destination without getting wet, there were no hugs, feeding people, bottled water distribution, reassuring people that their government is on it, or the drying of any tears. Predictably, he hopped up on top of a truck and yelled into a bullhorn, “What a crowd! What a turn out! The hurricane is historic and epic and the biggest ever!” Awhile later at another televised event he said, “We’ll congratulate each other when it’s over” (George Bush……….my natural disaster is bigger than your natural disaster.)

Trump told FEMA director, Brock Long, that he was going to be very famous because of Hurricane Harvey.

Tea Party Texans, wrapped in the Don’t Tread on Me flag, are sitting on top of their roofs after storing their guns and ammo in the attack, waiting for the government to come rescue them.

All cities matter?

Chemical plants and oil refineries have been shut down.

CNN Reporter, Drew Griffin, was covering the hurricane in Beaumont, Texas when a man was swept away in his truck by moving water. No time to call 911. He and a crew member grabbed a rope and pulled the man out of his truck, saving his life, live on TV. It is extremely doubtful that the president of the United States will mention it because he hates CNN.

Joel Osteen finally opened his megachurch to homeless neighbors after being shamed on Twitter. The Holy Spirit didn’t move him to do the Christian thing, social media did. The shit is floating to the top in Houston.

Floating Trump turds are ranting about how Obama screwed up Katrina.

Donald Trump and Joel Osteen worship the same God, “Sucker.”

150 conservative Christian leaders signed the Nashville Statement, affirming that straight, married people are going to heaven and gay people are not.

150 conservative, uptight sexually repressed hypocrite Clinton haters set President Clinton up to lie about getting a blow job under oath because they couldn’t impeach him for anything that had anything to do with being a dangerous president. Good times.

Trump will be in Missouri today, talking about his tax “plan” at a manufacturing company. The event is closed to the public. Protesters will be lined up on the sidewalk outside, forming a line between him and the Teamsters building. Trump is going to be in a bad mood later on today because he didn’t get to go on TV.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: When Mike Pence was an Indiana congressman, he told Congress not to fund Hurricane Katrina relief. “Katrina breaks my heart but we must not let Katrina break the bank for our children and grandchildren.”

To those who say they’re disappointed in Ivanka, come on. Her dad is Donald Trump and she married a man just like him. She’s going to find out what it’s like to be a real working mom soon enough after the men in her life go to jail and she’s left to raise the kids and pick up the pieces WITH BAD CREDIT.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio would like the media to stop calling him a racist. It’s stressing him out.

The First Lady wore stilettos to a hurricane.

Let us prey

At a press conference Trump was asked about pardoning Joe Arpaio on Friday when the hurricane hit. He said he did it for better TV ratings. He also said that Sheriff Joe was a real patriot and that he was unfairly treated by the Obama administration. Then he recited a long list of people other presidents have pardoned. See! See! Other presidents did it too!

When a reporter asked if he considered Russia to be a security threat he said he considered lots of countries to be a security threat.

Want me to sign your bill? Let’s make a deal. Want me to pardon you? Let’s make a deal. Want me to build a tower in Moscow? Let’s make a deal. Want me to be president? Let’s make a deal.

Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, was on his campaign team. Now we all know that he was emailing the Kremlin during the campaign, “Let’s make a deal.”

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said that the president’s values aren’t the same as the state department or the country’s values. “The president speaks for himself.”

The ACLU is suing Trump over the transgender ban.

Racist Freedom Caucus Chair, Steven King of Iowa, wants that stupid wall. He wants to shut the government down. “We could use the food stamp budget and Planned Parenthood to pay for it.” #november2018

Ivanka cannot confirm nor deny that she sat in Putin’s chair while visiting the Kremlin.

A week before Harvey hit, Trump revoked the Federal Flood Protection Standard.

Trump said he would slash the budget for FEMA and the National Guard. Smaller government, bigger floods.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: When asked if the displaced 450,000 Texans would get the federal aid they needed Senator Ted Cruz said, “No problem.” He’s very confident in the president. When asked why he voted against federal aid for Hurricane Sandy victims he said now is not the time for political sniping or exploiting his voters.

9,000 evacuees have sought refuge in the convention center – double its occupancy.

Jim McIngvale aka “Mattress Mack,” opened his furniture store to sopping wet evacuees while Jesus Christ Superstar Joel Osteen kept the doors to his mega church closed. He offered prayers on Twitter, though. Oh, and a link to donate to hurricane victims through a special church fund on his website.

There are signs taped to the front door of Joel’s place of un-taxed business letting the homeless know they are closed. Sunday services have been cancelled. Maybe next week but don’t forget to wipe your feet.

Joel’s church seats 16,800 people – four times the capacity of the convention center.

Joel Osteen is worth $50 million. He’s a conman just like Trump. Trump says he’s worth mega millions or billions, nobody knows for sure. He’s a TV star just like Osteen.

Tiny ordinary churches are taking people in AND their muddy pets.

Trump has never prayed so much since running for president because he never prayed before.

Trump is going to need to show some empathy today. He can’t do it.

Trump is on his way to Texas right now. Melania is with him. It’s raining. What about her hair? What about his?

Texas flood

Over 56,000 calls were made to 911 in a 15 hour period in Southeast Texas.

Brock Long is the current administrator of FEMA. Luckily, he’s not a banker or a CEO. He has actual emergency management experience. He did a press conference this morning and called upon all citizens to help. He’s on his way to Houston now. Trump hasn’t mentioned Brock by name but he has tweeted about this HISTORICAL storm – the biggest in 500 years! No empathy, no comforting words, no leadership, just relief that nobody is talking about pardoning Sheriff Joe, kicking transgenders out of the military, or Russiagate. Mission accomplished.

Trump needs to appoint federal officials to the many open positions necessary to handle the emergency in Texas. Get off of Twitter, take off that stupid hat that you’re pimping right now for $40 on your website, and appoint people to the empty posts so they can properly respond to this natural disaster. Do your job!

While people waited to be rescued from their rooftops the president was bragging about his big win in Missouri.

Trump is going to make an appearance in Texas tomorrow, costing taxpayers bigly. Those resources are needed for saving lives. This is a serious moment. Texas and the country need a serious president.

Trump doesn’t know the first thing about human suffering. He causes it.

People have been told to write their names and their social security numbers on their arms.

Texas will need new roads and bridges, but Trump wants a border wall and a bigger military.

The Mexican military has crossed the border to help rescue people.

Black people are saving white people, white people are saving black people.

HUD Secretary, Ben Carson, has to deal with people who have lost their homes. He better have a big enough staff. There are a lot of homeless people in Texas now.

Journalists are not only putting their own lives in danger to cover the storm, they’re rescuing people as they do it. Trump calls reporters the enemy of the people.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Texas Senator Ted Cruz said it wasn’t the government’s job to help people after Hurricane Sandy so he voted against federal aid. He says that climate change is a pseudoscientific theory. Nevertheless, he has asked FEMA for flat bottomed boats, high water trucks and helicopters, and has praised the National Guard for its swift response.

Houston needs more green space to absorb flood waters but capitalists want to build, build, build. They paved paradise prairie lands and put up a parking lot.

One in every five counties is impacted by this storm and more rain is coming.

Whites only

Make America Great Again means Whites Only.

Trump pardoning Sheriff Arpaio was a memo to sheriffs everywhere that there is no such thing as civil rights. The constitution is a thing of the past so law and order is whatever you say it is.

Trump pardoning Sheriff Arpaio was a memo to anybody under investigation that he can do the same thing for them if they don’t roll over on him.

Trump pardoning Sheriff Arpaio prompted mixed reactions, according to the Associated Press. Mixed reactions? There should only be one reaction. There is only one side.

Sheriff Arpaio was so obsessed with rounding up Latino/as and putting them in concentration camps that he neglected to do his cop job, like not going after perverts who were sexually abusing little kids. And Trump asks, “Was Sheriff Joe convicted for doing his job?”

Republicans are obsessed with transgender people using restrooms. Speaking of restrooms, Sheriff Joe put webcams in women’s restrooms.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Paul Ryan had someone make a statement on his behalf saying that he doesn’t agree with Trump pardoning Sheriff Joe. Doesn’t count. Say it yourself, estúpido. Say it in a special press conference before you announce congress is impeaching Trump.

The Nazis who were filmed beating DeAndre Harris in a parking garage at the Charlottesville rally are getting caught, thanks to social media. Haters beware – good people are everywhere and they have smart phones, Twitter and Facebook.

The attack on DeAndre Harris took place right next to a police station but no cops were in sight. DeAndre suffered a broken wrist, a broken tooth, and had eight staples in his scalp to close a head wound (good people chipped in to cover the costs of his medical bills.) A documentary photographer happened to be there at the time and videotaped the attack. When he tried to give the cops the video, they weren’t interested. Another video has surfaced where a Nazi shot his gun into the crowd in while the cops just stood there and watched.

Trump says he’s going to visit South Texas after things dry out. One hurricane is enough.

Trump promoted Sheriff David Clarke’s book this morning on Twitter. Trump recommended A BOOK! Sure, he used his official Twitter account to reward a campaign supporter, but he recommended a book! A BOOK!

If we had more women in congress everybody would have healthcare, we wouldn’t be threatening to bomb the shit out of everybody, and public education would be a top priority. We’d be a healthier, more peaceful, and smarter nation.

The Patriot Prayer rally in San Francisco got cancelled. The counter protesters showed up anyway to celebrate. They mayor praised the people’s response to the right wing rally that didn’t happen. There was only one arrest – public intoxication, but that happens every day.

Trump doesn’t drink. Imagine if he did.

Trump has brought out the absolute worst and the absolute best in us. Career politicians, worried about their careers, have started up with the meaningless rhetoric, “We’ve got to come together.” America is worried and is saying, “Pick a side. US or them.”

Harvey milked

Harvey milked! The Friday night news dump was timed to hit right as Hurricane Harvey (category 4) hit. Trump pardoned Joe Arpaio, the racist sheriff in Arizona – a convicted criminal who is in contempt of court for violating civil rights by racially profiling people and rounding them up to do forced labor on a chain gang in “tent city”, a makeshift concentration camp where they were forced to live in dangerous conditions with 115 degree weather and very little water or food. Quite a few prisoners died. He kept a woman chained and shackled to her jail bed during childbirth and wouldn’t let her hold her baby after she was born. Sheriff Arpaio hates Mexicans and Central Americans and used his power to express his hatred. He arrested reporters who covered him critically, too.

Trump used his power to thumb his nose at the justice department while sending a message out to everybody who he hates – I am all powerful and can do whatever I want. His message to everybody he likes? I’ve got your back, watch this.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Arizona Congressman Andy Biggs released a statement soon after the racist, defiant president pardoned the racist, defiant sheriff. He said he applauded Trump pardoning Sheriff Joe Arpaio. “The President brought justice to a situation where the Obama administration had attempted to destroy a political opponent……America owes Sheriff Arpaio a debt of gratitude and not the injustice of a political witch hunt.” This is Andy’s first term. And his last. Arizona is turning blue. Oxygen! Oxygen! Vote Democrat!

Trump has the Republicans in congress under his thumb.

Also in the Friday night news dump – Sebastian Gorka is out – nobody ever knew why he was ever in or what he ever did. Also, Trump signed a directive to ban transgenders from the military because his base really believes that transgenders only join the military to get free re-assignment surgery.

Trump is going to go after the DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) kids even though he told them he wouldn’t. This policy protected children of immigrants so they could go to college and get jobs without fear of deportation. Dreamers weren’t taught how to live in the shadows by their parents because they trusted that they wouldn’t need to.

In response to a reporter asking Trump if he had a message for the people of Texas, he gave a Tom Thumbs up and said, “Good luck everybody.” Here’s some playdough.

Trump’s paid cheerleader, Homeland Security Advisor Tom Bossert, spoke about the hurricane in a press conference. He told people to have faith in their government and that Trump is making America great again.

In the same press conference, filthy rich Wall Street whore Steve Mnuchin, stepped up to the mic to spin Venezuela. We’re putting sanctions on them, but nothing that will keep him and a number of other people in Trump’s cabinet from making money off of them. They’re also setting congress up to lift the debt ceiling when they get back, Trump will be hitting the road to go talk to Americans about his tax plan, and all of the people that Steve Mnuchin kicked out of their homes are still suffering.

Dept of Energy, HUD, Dept of Transportation, FEMA are all needed to respond to Hurricane Harvey and any other future natural disasters and they’re all under staffed.

The border patrol is staying open during Hurricane Harvey. Undocumented immigrants will be too afraid to leave their homes for fear of getting deported. They could die because of this.

The president of the Family Research Council, Tony Perkins, told his radio listeners that learning about gender identity can keep kids from becoming Christians.

White House Director of Rapid Response quit this week. His job was to find favorable news stories and flattering photos of Trump every day.

Help Wanted: People to clean the coal after it is mined.

Conservative political commentator, Andrew Sullivan, thinks that liberals should be nicer to Nazis. He accuses them of being intolerant of free speech and points to Boston as proof.

Former Republican Senator John Danforth wrote an op-ed that said that Trump has corrupted the party. No. It was already corrupt. That’s why there is a President Trump.

Trump’s first stop to talk about his tax plan will be in Missouri, the one state that the NAACP has issued a travel advisory warning. If you travel to Missouri and you’re not white, you better be careful.

First subpoenas have been issued in the grand jury by Mueller for Manafort.

By going rogue and pardoning Arpaio without going through the proper process, Trump is testing the rule of law and seeing how far he can go with his presidential powers. This is just a practice run for bigger pardons to come. He is planning on exploiting this unchecked power to pardon anybody he likes who is under investigation for their part in Russiagate. This is blatant abuse of power.

Pardoning Arpaio was just a drill.

FEMA has no leader.

National Hurricane Center has no leader.

Homeland Security has no leader.

National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration(NOA) has no leader.

America has no leader.

Who did Nazi see this coming

Trump succeeded in getting the media off of Russia by throwing out a couple of shiny objects – transgenders in the military and build the wall or else.

Trump has gone to war with his own party. It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

Jared Kushner is negotiating peace again in the Middle East. Government cameras only. No journalists.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Trump’s base is their base. That’s why they won’t put country before party (or their own careers.)

Republican Texas fun facts: Texas wants to secede from the nation and members of congress voted against federal aid for New York and New Jersey after Hurricane Sandy hit.

Mandatory evacuations along the Texas Gulf Coast in anticipation of Hurricane Harvey. Four people living in a mobile home park on the beach are refusing to leave because they don’t believe the fake news.

The German magazine, “Stern,” put Trump on the cover doing the Nazi salute.

Punch a Nazi San Francisco style: Dog owners have been preparing for a right wing rally that is coming to town tomorrow by saving their dog’s poop so they can scatter it on the grass where the rally goers will be. Nazis will have to stomp on dog shit while they stomp on everybody who isn’t white. After the rally is over, the dog owners will clean up the mess because they’re nice.

When Doug Ducey, the Republican governor of Arizona, refused to remove a confederate monument from the state capitol after Charlottesville, an Arizona woman decorated it with a giant second place participation ribbon.

After several weeks, Trump sent Sarah Huckabee Sanders out to say, “The president is going to repeal and replace Obamacare and the wall will be built. Also, he has created one million jobs, the stock market is at an all time high, I can’t comment, again, like I said, uh, uh, uh, we’ll keep you guys posted, that’s ridiculous and outrageous and undignified, blah blah blah blah blah.”

77% of under educated white Republican voters approve of Trump.

“Trump insulting you is like being called dumb by somebody with a bucket on their head” – Randi Rhodes

News flash! People trust the media more than they do Trump.

Did you know? Trump has a spiritual advisor. Her name is Paula White and she is on TV. She is warning people that if they oppose Trump, they oppose God.

Former Goldman Sachs president, and the current director of the National Economic Council, Gary Cohn, is one of the wealthiest employees in the White House. He’s Jewish but he says he won’t be following everybody else out the door in the wake of Trump defending Nazis because he’s a patriot. He prayed to his money god about what to do and the money god said yes, you are a patriot.

Hillary was totally creeped out by Trump breathing down her neck during one of the debates. Before the actual debate Trump tried to throw her off by calling a press conference with women who claimed Bill Clinton had sexually harassed them. Then he put them all in seats near the front row of the debate to intimidate her. Before the debate she had to practice touching him. She really didn’t want to have to shake his hand because he’s so disgusting. But she had to. Debating him was beneath her. Touching him is beneath any woman.

When asked about Trump getting impeached Roger Stone said that the Democrats need to get over it because Trump kicked Hillary’s ass. He warned everybody that if Trump is impeached people will die. “This isn’t 1973. Everybody is armed. If Trump is impeached, there will be civil war and any politician who votes for impeachment is putting his own life at risk.”

Net immigration is 0. Trump’s big claims that Mexicans are taking over and raping our women, robbing us, and killing us with stolen guns is one of the 1,000+ documented lies that he has told.

It’s Friday. Eat a healthy breakfast, drink plenty of fluids, keep your head up, and brace yourselves for today’s breaking news.

The I of the hurricane

Another first! The United Nations has put out an early warning about the United States, calling the US out for its administration’s support of racism, white supremacy and Nazism. It is asking the US to address the root causes of white supremacy and to unequivocally and unconditionally reject discrimination. The United States is on the United Nations’ shit list. Thanks a lot Republicans. STOP HIM!

Glenn Simpson, founder of Fusion GPS, the firm that compiled the Steele Dossier, testified to the Senate for 10 hours and handed over 40,000 pages of documents.

Congressman Chuck Grassley was asked by a well-informed, persistent constituent at a town hall to release a copy of the 10 hour testimony transcript to the public. Grassley did his best to avoid committing to that. The constituent kept pushing until Grassley relented and said he’d let the judiciary committee vote on letting the public read the testimony transcripts.

The dossier says that Russia has been working with Trump on influencing political elections for 5 years. It’s a damning, explosive document. This is the map that connects Trump to Putin. Collusion confirmed and Trump is a perv.

Insiders say Trump is obsessed with Russia. He’s losing it.

Another Russian ambassador (#4) has mysteriously turned up dead of natural causes. He was found floating in a swimming pool.

Trump went to Reno to make a speech at the American Legion and sign the Veterans Appeals Improvement and Modernization Act. He stuck to the script while everybody held their breath. Reno’s city council was unimpressed. They’re already struggling to pay police overtime and would appreciate it if the federal government would pitch in for extra security. Every time he shows up, it costs tax payers a lot.

Doing campaign rallies without any achievements to point to and failing at everything you’ve tried is like showing up to a job interview without a resume or any experience, bragging about how great you are. Only an idiot would hire that guy. Or vote for him.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Trump promised his followers that he would build a wall to keep foreigners out. He said Mexico would pay for it. Mexico isn’t paying for it so now he’s telling his followers that he’ll shut down the government if congress doesn’t make tax payers for the wall. The crowd went crazy! YAY! We’re gonna pay for the wall! Trump! Trump! Trump!

Trump is cruel and empty and so is anyone that “loves” him.

Trump is back to using transgenders as a political punching bag by banning them from the military. Not only will they not be able to join the military, they’re going to get kicked out.

A possible category 3 hurricane is about to hit the south coast of Texas.

The cry baby white supremacist who helped organize the Charlottesville rally turned himself into the cops.

The KKK declined an invitation to hold a free speech rally in South Central Los Angeles.

Trump is four minutes away from dropping a nuclear bomb. He doesn’t need anyone’s approval and nobody can stop him. We can only hope that he’s so in love with himself that he doesn’t want to die.

The wackos, gun nuts, survivalists, tea partiers, Nazis, and anti-government freaks are being manipulated by Trump right now to take up arms to defend him and themselves from the government when Trump goes down. This is the moment they have been training for.

Hurricane Trump is about to hit.

Blind leading the blind

After the MAGA pep rally journalists’ mouths hung open.

After the MAGA pep rally Former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper said he was scared and worried about Trump’s fitness to serve and his access to nuclear codes.

After the MAGA pep rally the cops gassed the peaceful protesters and shot one of them with a rubber bullet.

After the MAGA pep rally the Republicans locked the door, screamed WTF, and wondered what the hell they’re going to do now.

After the MAGA pep rally Americans found themselves more divided and less safe.

After the MAGA pep rally the pumped up crowd headed outside where 4,000 protesters awaited them. They could see with their own eyes that there were thousands of people but Trump told them that there weren’t very many so there weren’t very many.

After the MAGA pep rally racists were empowered, emboldened, and energized. Immigrants are far less safe now.

The blind leading the blind – Trump fans, already blinded from staring into the sun, are blinder now after staring into Trump.

Trump told his blind followers and paid extras that CNN had turned off the live feed. Everybody watching at home could see that CNN had not.

Tucker Carlson said on Fox News that Trump looking into the sun was “the most impressive thing any president has ever done.”

He talked about himself the entire time, never mentioned the sailors who had died, promised to pardon Sheriff Joe, threatened to shut down the government if congress doesn’t fund the wall, and said that “they” are trying to erase “our” history and heritage.

Instead of riding the wave of not screwing up his speech about Afghanistan, he insisted on doing his pep rally because he is an attention junkie. After having to stick to a script a couple of times last week he started going through withdrawals and needed a fix.

Trump and Mitch the Bitch haven’t spoken since August 9. Trump is pissed that McConnell didn’t do anything to make the Senate investigation go away which is more obstruction of justice.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: After treating Trump like a teenager with his first job, Republicans are FINALLY getting concerned that Trump may be “unfit” to be president.

Steve Mnuchin’s wife, Louise Linton, apologized for being a rich, elitist bleached asshole.

Betsy DeVos’s brother, Eric Prince, has pitched Trump and the generals to finish the job in Afghanistan by privatizing the war for a mere $50 billion. War for profit never ends.

Betsy DeVos is making money off of public education and her brother wants to make money off of war. Trump wants to make money off of both because that’s all he cares about.

A textbook narcissist rose to be the most powerful man in the world with the help of low information voters, racists, the media, lots of cash, minorities who gave their power away by not voting, and self righteous liberals who didn’t vote because they wanted to make some sort of statement.

Everything Hitler did was legal.

One of us! One of us!

He made a speech last night with his head turned to his left the whole time, saying that nothing is going to change in Afghanistan except we need to make some money off of it.

After the speech Lindsey Graham tweeted, “Between Afghanistan and Syria @realDonaldTrump is showing the WILL to stand up to Radical Islam……unlike President Obama” and then he wiped the shit off of his shoes.

He made that speech so we’d all stop talking about Charlottesville and him pandering to white nationalists which stopped us from talking about North Korea which stopped us from talking about staff leaving which stopped us from talking about Russiagate which stopped us from talking about impeachment which stopped us from talking about —-

He’s going to make an unscripted speech to his base tonight in Phoenix. Tomorrow we’ll be talking about that.

Trump has already blown through his secret service budget for the entire year because he has gone on vacation almost every weekend. He should have to get himself to the rally today.

The governor of Arizona won’t be attending Trump’s pep rally.

Trump’s private golf clubs have charged the Secret Service $60,000 to rent golf carts.

Trump said that Afghanistan and Pakistan are the worst terrorist threat to the US but neither country is on his list of Islamic countries that can’t come into the country.

So much for Trump making the military bigger and better. Two US destroyers have crashed into other ships during the past 2 months in the Pacific.

Trump and the Third Lady stepped outside on the Truman balcony to look at the eclipse. Melania was annoyed that her glasses were not designer frames but she put them on anyway, but only for a few seconds. The idiot she married looked up at the sun without any protective shades at all.
Trump stared straight into the sun during the eclipse proving that he really is just like his voters! One of us! One of us! He’s as dumb as us!

Steve Mnuchin’s third wife got really defensive after a mom in Oregon called her out on Instagram after she bragged about jet setting around the country at the government’s expense. She had posted a photo of herself getting off of a government plane and tagged the purse and scarf with designer label hashtags. After the Oregon mom called her out, the third wife shamed her for not being rich. “Have you given more to the economy than me and my husband?” she posted, causing a big stink on the internet. She deleted her post but the screen shots remain.

Steve Mnuchin’s third wife, like Trump’s third wife, is an immigrant, but they’re white and beautiful so it doesn’t count.

Senator Al Franken says he has known that Trump is a bad president for weeks.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: GOP talking point – We are the party of Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan. No you’re not. You are the party of Richard Nixon and Donald Trump.

Paul Ryan did a scripted, ticketed, televised town hall and said let’s not make a food fight out Charlottesville (“You’re not a good person if you were there” – does he mean both sides? Does he mean Heather Heyer?) He does not support censuring Trump. When asked why he hasn’t done anything in 7 months, he blamed everything on the Senate.

Paul Ryan is so out of touch with his district that he mentioned Christo Rey as a religious facility that does good work. Christo Rey been closed for years.

We’re down to a dictator and three generals in the White House. Hurry up Mueller!!!