The party is over

Trump introduced General Kelly to his cabinet this morning using his third grade vocabulary. “The economy is doing incredibly well and many other things.” He bragged about how great America is already, thanks to him, and said that General Kelly will go down in history as being the greatest Chief of Staff in history. Jared Kushner was there, sitting at the kid’s table. Jeff Sessions was there, too, but he got tabled.

Before going into the cabinet room, he referred to it as the board room. Everybody at the meeting said with their eyes, “Welcome to the bored room.”

He lied during the swearing in ceremony by saying there is no chaos in the White House and that the country is doing fantastically spectacularly well.

General Kelly in, Megyn Kelly out.

Putin says Russia will respond in kind if the US lays down more sanctions. This is the most aggressive comment made by Russia towards the US since 1917.

If Putin puts sanctions on the US by pulling rubles out, it will only affect Trump and the mob.

Trump hasn’t said anything about Putin’s threat.

Trump boasted on Twitter this morning that EVERYTHING IS GREAT!!!!! “Highest Stock Market EVER, best economic numbers in years, unemployment lowest in 17 years, wages raising, border secure, S.C.: No WH chaos!” Phew! We’re not going to die! America is great again!

Trump is really enjoying riding the wave of the Obama economy.

He’s not strategic. He’s an impulsive, arrogant, vindictive fool. That’s all there is to “get.”

General Barry McCaffrey called Trump a dangerous rogue actor.

The US flew a couple of bombers over North Korea to send the message, “Our Leader is Crazier and Scarier than Your Leader.”

When asked about North Korea this morning he said, “We’ll handle North Korea. We’ll be able to handle it. It will be handled. We can handle everything.”

Darrell Issa is the richest member of Congress. He says our poor are the “envy of the world.”

The Fox News audience is getting older and will die off in due time. That’s good news.

Republican Senator Jeff Flake of Arizona is up for re-election in 2018. Trump doesn’t like him. Flake just wrote a book, “Conscience of a Conservative: A Rejection of Destructive Politics and a Return to Principle.” He admits that the GOP is no longer the party of limited government, that they laid the ground for someone like Trump to rise to power, and that automation took jobs. What do you know?!!! A Republican who doesn’t qualify for the daily Republican Hypocrite of the Day!

Trump never laughs.

How Mitch the Bitch is spending his summer vacation: Spending $8 million from his super PAC to get his candidate elected in the Alabama senate race.

Republicans are back home for summer recess. Everybody but Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and John McCain are hiding under their covers, curtains drawn, lights out. When things go bump in the night, they freak out and yell, “WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT WAS THAT? Mitch told me to do it! I am not a monster!!!”

Trump is giving a medal of honor today. What could go wrong?

Trump is threatening to withhold payments to insurance companies so he can let Obamacare fail. The US government is now an Atlantic City casino.

The very threat that Trump will renege on payments to insurance companies will drive premiums up and the Republicans will blame Obamacare.

The party is over. Trump is a man without a party and the GOP is on life support.



Trump tweet: “If a new HealthCare Bill is not approved quickly, BAILOUTS for Insurance Companies and BAILOUTS for Members of Congress will end very soon!” He doesn’t know that Congress has already left the building because he’s a boob. The president of the United States is a boob.

Trump is laying a booby trap for China and North Korea. ON TWITTER.

American Heroes Week was a disaster. Twitler scarred 40,000 Boy Scouts for life, got the cops in trouble, and undermined the entire justice department. Tit for tat.

The White House declared next week “Family Values Week.” Just kidding. They’d never do that.

Trump and his family are sucking off of the teat of the American Treasury, right in public!

After this is all over, America is going to need to lay its head in the bosom of the Women’s movement. Let women take things from here. The rest has got to be herstory.

Mooch’s wife (who is lactating) has filed for divorce because Mooch loves Trump more than her.

The three Republican senators who voted NO on Trumpcare went home to happy states. No protesters. No angry mobs. Just a lot of grateful, relieved constituents with a lot of thank you notes and flowers.

A four star general starts work tomorrow to babysit the stooges in the White House. His mission? Breaking up a lot of mean girl fights and telling Trump NO. Good luck with that, sir. They’re udderly ridiculous.

Inquiring minds want to know, will John Kelly wear the red hat? Follow the bouncing boobs.

Trump: thumbs up. McCain: thumbs down.

Trump thinks he’s got a full house. He doesn’t even have a pair.

We’ve gone from Sarah Palin and George W. Bush being the biggest boobs in the Republican party to the Republican party being a wet t-shirt contest at Hooters. Man boobs. Eeewww. Old white man boobs. Eeeeewwwwwww!

The amateurs in the White House are the biggest threat to our national security. They are inept and dangerous and our enemies know it.

Trump is very proud of his new push up bra collection, Kleptocratia’s Secret, made in China.

Tomorrow, General Kelly could try and get Trump to put on a Mansiere to keep him from jiggling all over the place. If he does, he’ll end up padding it just like he does his president’s expense account. One thing is for sure, he’ll end up taking it off and throwing it at Kelly, in public, during a You’re Fired strip tease.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Trump once said that anyone being under investigation by the FBI is not qualified to be president.

While America is fixated on getting a glimpse of a nipple, any nipple, and Trump pounds his chest on a daily basis, Robert Mueller is focused and busy. He’s not interested in sneaking a peak. He’s working.

Save the date! November 6, 2018 – midterm elections. Save our Democracy. Democrat or bust.

One year president

This week was the worst week in the Trump presidency and that’s really saying something.

He began the week making an ass out of himself in front of 40,000 Boy Scouts, “Who the hell wants to speak about politics when I’m in front of the Boy Scouts, right?” and ended with a speech in front of cops in Long Island where he called for more police brutality. The cops laughed and clapped and once again, everybody but Trump voters were horrified and embarrassed. That was some Buddah level dickishness right there.

The Suffolk County Police Department had to release a public statement saying they don’t condone violence against prisoners.

He fired his baby sitter, Reince Priebus, on Twitter (another record! Priebus is the shortest serving White House Chief of Staff in history!) and replaced him with Homeland Security Secretary, General John Kelly, because “He’s a star” and has really cracked down on immigration. Trump is switching things up now to militarize the White House. Just wait until Kelly tells Trump what to do.

Priebus did an interview with CNN after he got fired just to piss Trump off.

Not killing Obamacare was a historical defeat for Republicans. Trump will try and find a way to fire them all, which, at this point, might be a welcome change for the Republicans. They’ve sold their souls to the devil. Surely some of them want their souls back, right? RIGHT??

Remember when we were all so scared of Mitt Romney?

Remember when Trump said he was going to kill Obamacare on the first day in office and get rid of ISIS in a month?

Remember when Reince Priebus sat at that big table with everybody else on The White House Apprentice and told Dear Leader how grateful he was for the opportunity to work for him?

Bowling Green Massacre. Never forget.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Reince says he’s still on Team Trump.

Sally Yates said that Trump is trying to use the justice department to seek vengeance against his enemies and build a wall of protection around himself and his allies. He’s dangerous. Yikes.

Hey Trump voters! Was having a black president as bad as this?

20 year Navy Seal veteran, Kristin Beck, is transgender and says her experience with young people is “Ya whatever.” They’re cool with LGBTQs and much more evolved than the president and his followers.

Trump tweeted before dawn that Russia didn’t want him to be president because he wanted a stronger military and lower oil prices.

Since Twitler governs by tweet a federal court said he can’t block people if they make fun of him.

The disabled community really put themselves out there to save the Affordable Care Act. THANK YOU! Make a donation to ADAPT today!

And how about those Democrats?! They worked so hard! Call them and say thanks. Elected officials hear from pissed off constituents all day long. Satisfied people rarely ever call. Call!

For 8 years, the Republicans have been blowing up the rules and sneaking around to keep Obama and the Democrats from beating them. Now, at long last, everything has blown up in their faces. Abortion and gay marriage can’t save them now.

Congress needs to return to regular order BM (before McConnell) and PR (Paul Ryan.)

Tax reform? Forget about. Trump is going to take the rest of the year off.

The Resistance is strong, persistent and growing.

Donald J Trump 2017-2017

Reality TV government

While you were sleeping, the Senate did not vote to kill you via the skinny bill. Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and John McCain were the three Republicans who broke from the mob and voted it down.

Obama’s rival saved his legacy. McCain probably doesn’t see it that way, but he did.

Twitler tweeted at 2:25 a.m. – the Senate has let Americans down.

Trump is circling the drain, the White House is in chaos, and Congress is dysfunctional. Oh please oh please oh please – no hurricanes or wars until we can get Democrats voted in to clean this mess up.

The Senate has never operated like this before. Mitch McConnell is to blame. The turtle is way overdue for hibernation. It’s time he catch up on all that lost sleep by crawling under some guy’s deck in Kentucky to check out for 20 years. When he wakes up he’ll discover a functioning government run by Democrats.The Republican party will be dead and he’ll have nothing to do and nobody left to hate. Everybody will have forgotten about him and the kids who live in the house above the deck will discover him and taunt him because they are mean little brats who like to see animals suffer. Their parents voted for Trump.

Before the press briefing where Sarah Huckabee Sanders reassured everyone that the president can walk and chew gum at the same time, the head of ICE took the stage to show pictures of MS-13 gang members and tell stories to scare the shit out everybody while Jeff Sessions was in El Salvador and 700 gang members were getting arrested. The message? Trust ICE, immigrants are gang members, and sanctuary cities give refuge to brown skinned killers with scary tattoos.

Trump hasn’t spoken to Jeff Sessions since he told the world how disappointed he was in him.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders defended the president’s behavior at the Boy Scouts saying, “Look, I was there and the Boy Scouts loved the president.” She avoided questions about furious parents or Trump apologizing. She ended with a dig at the fake media and a sarcastic remark about a witch hunt.

The head of the Boy Scouts wrote a formal apology, but the president didn’t.

Rex Tillerson used to be the national president of the Boy Scouts.

Sean Hannity and a few other Faux News personalities dined with Twitler at the White House. Somebody told the press about it which flipped Mooch out. He called a reporter and cussed and cussed and cussed about Bannon and Priebus saying, “There are people inside this administration who think it’s their job to save America from the president. That’s not their job!”

Mooch is new at this.

Trump told Mooch to go for it and hit Reince Priebus as hard as he wants, anywhere he wants.

Reminder: The White House doesn’t keep a log of who comes and goes.

Trump might not sign the sanctions bill. Putin says the sanctions are illegal and that the election probe is “anti-Russia hysteria.”

Bill Browder testified before the Senate and laid out the whole story behind the Magnitsky Act. This is way scarier than MS-13 gang members. The Russians are everywhere, including the White House, and they kill people.

Trump has turned our government over to the Russians and Wall Street.

The Republican Party is a right wing extremist group and should hurry up and crawl under some guy’s deck and die.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republicans can’t govern and they aren’t good with money.

The culture in the White House is that of a mean girl reality show. Everybody is cussing and crying and yelling and pouting and scheming and bullying while the whole world watches.

Trump fired the head of the FBI, is trying to force the Attorney General out, and is now accusing the acting FBI director, Andrew McCabe, of being corrupt. Trump is guilty as bleepity bleep bleep bleep (what Mooch said.)

The House GOP is calling for a special counsel to investigate Clinton, Comey and Loretta Lynch. 20 Republicans signed the letter from the House Judiciary Committee, the same committee that refuses to investigate Russiagate, and the very committee that failed miserably to find anything on Hillary Clinton and Benghazi.THAT was a witch hunt.

Republicans are defending their buddy Jeff Sessions but they have yet to defend America.

After leaving the reality TV show, “The White House,” Sean Spicer will tango over to “Dancing with the Stars.” No one from the show will confirm or deny this, but Melissa McCarthy is taking tango lessons.

Governing by tweet

Vote-A-Rama Day 2 is underway. Ted Cruz’s amendment was voted down. Repeal and delay bill was voted down. Next up is the skinny bill, which nobody has ever seen. They’re going after the small employer and individual mandates. No text, no summary – the bill is in McConnell’s head. This is insane.

Twitler made a national security policy via tweet. He fired transgenders in the military on Twitter. He did this without talking to advisers or top national security experts. The Pentagon knew nothing about it. Congress was just as surprised by this tweet as the rest of us were.

The Pentagon is worried that that Trump will declare war on North Korea in a tweet.

We spend five times more on Viagra so that aging American men can get laid than we do on re-assignment surgery for transgenders in the military (.01% of the military budget, equivalent to two trips to Mar-a-Lago and Trump’s Viagra.)

New agenda for press briefings – praise Dear Leader, defend him and then lie for him. Sarah Huckabee Sanders tried to humanize Trump by talking about how grateful she was to him to have her job. She talked about how kind and generous and supportive of women he is. She made a corny joke about hair and makeup to make Mooch look good. Then she read a letter from a kid named Dillon who said he loved Trump so much he had a birthday party about him. They did a check presentation to Betsy DeVos payable to the Dept of Education – Trump donated his quarterly salary in the amount of $100,000 to the charter school movement (pay no attention to his wanting to cut $9.2 billion to the education budget.)

After Sarah finished with her “We love you, Mr. President” song and dance, the press went straight into questions about kicking transgenders out of the military, setting Sessions up to quit, the Russian sanctions, tax reform, and healthcare. She answered with a lot of “Blah blah blah blah blah blah,” and “look,” and “again.”

Trump wants Sessions to crack down on leakers and immigrants.

The White House is leaking all over itself. It’s Palace Intrigue, a bad American soap opera. Reince and Mooch are fighting like two stepbrothers. The staff is shooting at each other. And the president is sitting on the toilet, watching cable news, eating and tweeting.

Mooch tweeted that Reince Priebus leaked his financial information so he notified the FBI. His financial information is public information. Oops. Delete!

Kenneth Starr, of all people, has asked Trump to “cut it out.”

Lisa Murkowski is on Trump’s shit list because SHE won’t do what HE says. He’s threatening Alaska with repercussions if she doesn’t fall in line.

Lindsey Graham said if Trump tries to fire Jeff Sessions there will be holy hell to pay. He also said that if he tries to fire Robert Mueller it will be the beginning of the end of his presidency.

Republican senators are rallying around Jeff Sessions to defend him. Americans want to know when they will rally around them to defend America.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Paul Ryan won’t negotiate tax policy in public because it’s none of our business.

While in Ohio, a teenaged protester was put in a choke hold by the cops. The crowd loved it. Trump said from the podium, “He’s going home to his mommy – he’s in big trouble.” Then he promised the crowd that their jobs are coming back. He said he has created over a million jobs and that he’s done more in six months than any other president. They believe him.

On the other (left) hand, Hillary Clinton changed the rules to let trans people change their gender on their passport and Rod Stewart picked up the tab for disabled kids to fly to DC to protest the evil Republicans and their deathcare bill.

Maverick my ass

Mitch McConnell called the ACA a failed left wing experiment in advance of asking everybody to vote to proceed.“Our constituents are hurting under Obamacare,” he said, ignoring the protesters screaming, crying, and getting arrested out in the halls.

John McCain’s soliloquy on the Senate floor would have been much more impressive and memorable if he had voted NO on proceeding with the vote.

McCain lectured everybody about returning to “normal”. Normal?!!!!!!

“We are not the president’s subordinates,” McCain said, “we are his equals.” Yes, yes you are.You and the entire Republican party are Trump’s equals.

Protesters were all over the capitol – inside and out. They stormed the senate chamber during the vote, chanting “Kill the Bill”. 90 people got arrested.

Capitol police shut the press out and told the press not to take pictures of the protesters. “Delete your photos.”

The motion to proceed passed, because Mike Pence got to cast the tie breaking vote.That’s the first thing he’s done in 6 months except nod sincerely as vice president.

So now the senators will engage in a 20 hour debate on a bill that doesn’t actually exist. Democrats are preparing hundreds of amendments to beat the rebugs at their own game.

Republicans can change the rules at any time (Neil Gorsuch,) so hang tight. This could be a nail biter.

Senators are getting sick of debating health care, pun intended. They’re looking pretty tired and stinky. They voted to repeal and replace last night which didn’t pass.They’re going to vote on repealing without replacing soon.

“Susan Collins is more of a maverick than John McCain is” – Charlie Pierce

Trump said Obamacare is 17 years old. He also said that he is more presidential than any other president except for the late, great Abraham Lincoln.

Rex Tillerson is “taking a little time off.”

Here’s who Trump the chump has attacked so far: the US intelligence agencies, independent counsel Robert Mueller, attorney general Jeff Sessions, head of the FBI Jim Comey (who he fired,) and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. More to come. Anybody who would take a job with Trump now has either got to be crazy or is in on the scam.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions isn’t being fair to the president, according to Trump. So he’s going after him publicly to insult him, trying to get him to quit so he doesn’t have to fire him. When asked about this, Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, said, “Cluck cluck cluck cocka doodle doo.”

Why did Paul Ryan cross the road? To get away from his constituents (Minnesota was on the other side of the road.)
What did Al Franken say to Paul Ryan after he crossed the road into Minnesota? “You’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, and doggone It, people hate you. Go back to Wisconsin, you chicken shit little weasel.”

For those still wondering how we got here, picture this: A Trump supporter shows up at the protest at the Capitol with his 10 year old son (probably a Boy Scout.) He starts mocking a woman with cancer. When someone pulled out their phone to video him, he went nuts. He cussed, flipped people off, and accused protesters of being free loaders, right in front of his kid. So there you go, reasonable people wondering how Trump got elected, that poor boy is going to grow up to be a Republican.

Twitler tweeted that the crowd in Ohio last night broke all records. Wait a minute, didn’t the last crowd break all records, and the one before that? He’s tweeted 7 times already this morning.

In 6 months, tax payers have spent $30 million on Trump’s vacations.

Trump is mad that Jeff Sessions isn’t going after Hillary Clinton.
Trump regards Jeff Sessions as one of his ex-wives. You’re no good to me now so see ya (in court.)

And in other news, 7,000 transgender soldiers are getting kicked out of the military.

Oh boy

Mitch the Bitch and the slimy repugs put a guilt trip on John McCain and his doctor about voting to proceed so McCain is flying in to DC to vote “yes” today. This is a hell of a legacy, “Maverick” – using your power and privilege in the final days of your life to deny health care to 23 million Americans when you yourself enjoy the very best of care, paid for by the very people you are voting to hurt.

During the campaign Trump said, “He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured.” Today Trump called John McCain a hero because he’s doing what he wants.

The Affordable Care Act is more popular than it’s ever been.

The grab ‘em by the pussy president of the United States spoke to a pumped up crowd of 40,000 adolescent boys at the Boy Scouts Jamboree where he bragged about his electoral win, damned the media and “fake news,” said Washington was a sewer, asked for loyalty, bashed Obamacare, and said that if you’re rich you get to have orgies on yachts. He summoned American boys to boo for Obama and Hillary and throw their middle fingers up to God, country and honor. Those kids in uniform, cheering for a demagogue, looked eerily like Hitler Youth. Parents ripped the Boy Scouts a new one on Twitter and Facebook last night for inviting Trump to indoctrinate children to hate. How did the Boy Scouts of America respond? By deleting their comments. The Boy Scouts have gone from gay bashing homophobes to the Twitler Youth. Swell.

Speaking of Boy Scouts and scum bag Republicans, convicted pedophile and former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert was supposed to get out of jail today but now he’ll have to wait until August 16. Parents and victims will be waiting for him, ready to rip him a new one.

Trump’s new communications director, who loves Trump more than anybody in the whole wide world, wrote an op-ed for Fox Business in January of 2016 where he ripped Trump a new one and called him a demagogue. Look! Over there! People having orgies on yachts!

Twitler tweeted that Congressman Adam Schiff is sleazy.

Mooch affirmed this morning that Trump is going to say, “You’re fired!” to Attorney General Jeff Sessions really soon because he isn’t loyal.

Since when could people not say, “Merry Christmas?”

Jared Kushner sounds as young as he looks – a 12 year old kid. But he’s no Boy Scout. After reading a statement that his lawyers wrote for him, word for word, he answered questions for senators for 2 hours behind closed doors. Today he’ll do it again for the House Intelligence Committee, under oath. Oh boy.

Former chair of the House Oversight Committee, Jason Chaffetz, auditioned for Fox News yesterday after quitting the Congress a couple of weeks ago. What did he perform? Clintons bad! Trump good! The old, paranoid white farts went wild so he probably passed the audition.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Jim DeMint was a South Carolina senator during the George W and Obama administrations. He’s a tea party wing nut who left the Senate to head the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank until he was fired a few months ago for being a tea party wing nut. He raked in over $600,000 in annual salary and benefits. He believes that gay rights infringe on religious liberty and that kids should be praying in school (to his God, of course.) Gay people and unmarried women who are sexually active should not be allowed to teach in public schools.He’s an English only kind of guy. He founded the Senate Conservatives Fund, a political action committee that raises money to get tea party wing nuts elected. Now he’s starting another group, the “Wing Nut Super Pac.” Mitch McConnell doesn’t like him.

Trump’s love master, Mooch, wrote an op-ed for in January 2016 where he ripped Trump a new one and called him a demagogue. Look! Over there! People having orgies on yachts!

Blaming the Democrats would be laugh out loud hilarious if Trump voters didn’t really believe it.

Junior and Manafort are exercising their religious liberty rights by taking the code of silence and blowing off the judiciary meeting. Subpoena time.

Ivanka is married to the mob.

Trump wasn’t a Boy Scout but Obama was.

Call your senators today and tell them to vote no on whatever bill Mitch the Bitch puts out there. If we don’t kill this bill this bill is going to kill us.

American heroes week

Our day and week begins with a tweet from the President of the United States: “As the phony Russian Witch Hunt continues, two groups are laughing at this excuse for a lost election taking hold, Democrats and Russians!”

After he drains the swamp (Washington,) he’s going to drain the sewer (the media.)

Trump is the only president who hasn’t read the constitution. He’d like to fire all of the Republicans because they don’t understand anything and they’re not being loyal to him. He can’t do that.

“It’s very sad that Republicans, even some that were carried over the line on my back, do very little to protect their President.” Trump is thinking about creating a Loyalty Awards pageant. The winner and the runners up for the contest will get a pardon crown. Everybody who went to his inauguration is invited.

Mitch McConnell has not surrendered. The repugs are going to vote on Obamacare again this week but nobody knows what they’ll be voting on. Keep calling your senators! If we don’t kill the bill the bill will kill us.

Senator Rand Paul said Trump can pardon himself.

Alex Jones has called for civil war.

Trump blocked Rosie O’Donnell on Twitter.

Monty Python’s John Cleese thinks Trump voters are the stupidest people he’s ever met.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: The Republicans control the House, Senate and White House buy they haven’t done a damn thing in 6 months except make a mess.

Has Trump been to New York since he fired Preet Bharara?

Jared will testify today in a closed-door appearance before the Senate Intelligence Committee. He plans on denying everything. Tomorrow he’ll deny everything before the House Intelligence Committee. The public won’t get to hear any of it because that’s the way Jared wants it.

The White House has dubbed this “American Heroes Week.” Next week is “American Dreams Week.” Last week was “Made in America Week.” It bombed because Trump and his family don’t make anything in America.

For American Heroes Week let’s all celebrate Sally Yates and James Comey.

Robert Mueller is America’s Super Hero. If Trump tries to fire him, we need to take to the streets. Sign up to create a rapid response team here:

Trump is going to a Boy Scout Jamboree today. Will he don a canteen boy costume and take the Boy Scout oath pledging duty to God and country? Will Alec Baldwin crash the jamboree and upstage him in a scout leader uniform?

The State Department is a ghost ship. We don’t have an ambassador to North Korea.

Breaking the law, breaking the law

There can only be one reason why what’s his face didn’t talk about the awesome pardon powers of the president yesterday when he dedicated the USS Gerald Ford air craft carrier and that is he doesn’t know who Gerald Ford is. He got to wear a Navy suit and say, ‘Hey world! Look at us! We’ve got a new 100,000 ton war machine and YOU DON’T!” Then he asked the service members present to put a good word in for him with their senators.

Mike Flynn started a “Keep Mike Out of Jail” GoFundMe page but so far nobody has donated anything, not even the people who said they would.

Poor Jared, he has so much money he can’t keep track of it. He keeps losing assets.

Trump’s presidential library will be a new wing of the Hate Museum – an amusement park type ride where people get in a golf cart and are led through the White House, Mar-A-Lago, and Trump Tower, listening to Trump’s speeches and TV interviews and reading tweets projected on the walls.The last part of the ride is a darkened, empty room where the golf cart stops and neon words go off and on – “FAKE NEWS!” “BELIEVE ME!” “I ALONE CAN SAVE YOU,” “WITCH HUNT,” “GRAB EM BY THE PUSSY!” “I CAN STAND ON FIFTH AVENUE AND SHOOT SOMEONE AND I WOULDN’T LOSE SUPPORTERS” while the State Anthem of the Russian Federation blasts. Riders leave saying, “I’ll never do that again.” Golf carts are equipped with barf bags, just in case.

Turns out Mooch, Don the Con’s new communications director, deleted his liberal tweets but not before people got a chance to take screen shots of them. He used to be pro-choice, anti-gun, pro-gay marriage, pro-Hillary, pro-climate change, and anti-Trump, but he’s changed all of those positions this week.

Mooch is hammering down hard on his talking points that the president has great instincts, is a phenomenal politician, the media is not fair to him, he won the election, people need to let him be himself, and he needs to do things in his own time, in his own way. He won’t answer any real questions. Trump loves Mooch and Mooch loves Trump. They love each other SO MUCH! He went on and on, spinning the same cult of personality talking points ad nauseam. America needs a shower after sitting through that. Eeeeewwww. Something stinks. Mooch’s expensive man perfume can’t mask it. We smell it.

During the interview, Mooch asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to continue using the same hair and makeup person.

Mooch says that Trump is a great athlete and reminds him of his high school football coach. Trump golfs.

Twitler tweeted ten times yesterday – fake news and Hillary’s emails again.

Manafort and Junior don’t want to testify in public this week so they don’t have to. Chuck Grassley said, “OK, can I get you anything? Slippers? Cigars? Back rubs? Skip the oath?”

Republicans are going to have to choose – our constitution or their burning, never ending hatred of Democrats.

The Beverly Hillbillies went to Washington to cash in on the presidency so they could pay their Russian creditors back. Now they owe them more than money.

30 people showed up for an anti-fake news rally in front of CNN.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Gerald Ford pardoned Dick the dick, adding insult to injury.

Another bill on Russian sanctions is making its way to Trump’s desk. Will he sign it?

French President Macron’s popularity dropped because he didn’t listen to his mom who told him that people will judge him by the company he keeps.

Steven Colbert when to Moscow to jump on the very bed that hookers are said to have peed on. There’s a lovely view of the Kremlin directly across from the presidential suite. No room service because they saw him jumping on the bed.

We’re a nation of laws, but those laws don’t mean anything if Republicans refuse to enforce them. Pink pussy hats need to crash the capitol this week with Judas Priest singing, “Breaking the Law.” Judas Priest is the band conservatives tried to censor in the 90s. They accused them of mind control. They watch Fox News.

Communicate this

There is so much breaking news throughout the day that there should be an AM and PM daily crime report. We can’t keep going like this for three and a half more years. Our nerves can’t take it and we’ll surely face a natural disaster or a diplomatic crisis for which the government is ill prepared to handle. We’re sitting ducks, grinding our teeth to mere nubs.

Sean Spicer lasted six months and a day. He resigned but was talked in to staying through August, long enough to keep an eye on him while Junior and Jared testify. He took his White House experience off of his Twitter bio and resume already. Melissa McCarthy will have to play Spicey at Starbucks, writing a book on his laptop, pretending not to be Sean Spicer when people ask.

Will Spicer kiss and tell? Or is there nothing to tell because we know it all already? One way or another he surely regrets that kiss.

Spicer’s tenure is the fourth shortest in history. #1 was Gerald Ford’s press secretary. He gave Ford the finger and quit as soon as he pardoned Nixon.

The new communications director is Sean Hannity’s friend, Fox News talking head, Fake It ‘Til You Make It, Anthony Scare a Mooch Eeeeek, a New York billionaire hedge fund guy – “Mooch” to his friends. Mooch loves Trump so much. He thinks of Priebus as a brother. He loves Sean Spicer too. He used the word, “love” 14 times in his getting to know you speech with the White House press corps. He said he loved the president 5 times. He also said he was loyal to the president and asked everybody to let the president be himself. He didn’t forget to work his book into his pitch while slow dancing with the press. He’s good.

Mooch said the prez has good karma. He’s in like Flynn.

Nobody but Trump wanted Mooch to be the communications director. That’s why Spicer resigned. Mooch is a good communicator and said all of the right things to please Trump, but he’s never been a communications director. Trump picked him because Mooch is how he sees himself – smooth, handsome, tough, cool, an elegant, straight faced, efficient bull shitter, and SMART. He’s the perfect liar for the top liar job because he sold his soul to the devil a long time ago. This is going to be a breeze for him.

Congressman Adam Schiff from Los Angeles introduced a constitutional amendment to overturn Citizens United because we need to get the American oligarchs out of government.

Republican hypocrites fun fact: There are still Republican fools who will throw out Bill Clinton getting impeached to being relevant and WORSE than what’s going on now. Setting somebody up to lie about sex under oath is not the same as the president of the United States cooperating with a hostile foreign power to profit personally and weaken the United States.

Trump can’t complete a sentence without lying. Get him under oath and let him loose and let’s get this over with already.

Republicans are scheming to spin Russiagate as a Democratic conspiracy. The average smart person just laughs but Trump voters already believe it.

More dirt on Jeff Sessions – evidence of more perjury. He did talk to the Russians during the campaign about the campaign. Trump let him have it publicly in a NYT interview, setting Sessions up to resign so he could hire someone new to fire Mueller, but Sessions didn’t resign. He’s either a glutton for punishment or such a southern gentlemen that he’ll just stay put and smile while Trump throws dog poop at him, yelling at him about how recusing himself is unfair to the president.

Who will win? Bannon, Priebus or the kids?

“Real America” still doesn’t get that they’re getting punk’d by Trump.

Trump is such an idiot he thought health insurance cost $12 a month. So when he promised to replace Obamacare with something even greater and better and more affordable, did he think he was promising everybody health insurance for $6 a month?

President Trump had the biggest, bestest inauguration in the history of the world, PERIOD.