It was a long day for protesters and marchers around the country yesterday. Their dogs were barking. Protesters were cuffed and dragged out of Pat Toomey’s office at the capitol. They just kept on chanting, “Don’t kill me! Kill the bill!”
Jason Chaffetz is leaving the glamorous life of Capitol Hill to be a talking head for Fox News, just like Sarah Palin. And just like Sarah (and Alex Jones,) he’ll get to work from home – no more commute, he’ll get to write off office space on his taxes, and he’ll get to spend more time with his kids even though they’re all grown and don’t live at home anymore. It’s a cushy job. He’ll be going from being dogged by the press to getting to pretend that he is the press. After bullshitting old, paranoid white people in one room of his house for an hour he’ll move to his deck to drink a non-caffeinated, Mormon sanctioned, refreshing drink while he pets his pure bred dogs.and watches the sun go down on America.
While Trump was on the phone with the Irish Prime Minister in the Oval Office, he hit on one of the Irish reporters in the room. He forgot where he was for a second as he was fantasizing that he was in a Wayne’s World movie and all of the female reporters were fembots. Too much talk about bots.
White House is snubbing CNN again. CNN needs to hurry up and bite back, rabidly.
Trump is picking another fight with North Korea. He is jonesing for a blockbuster war. He needs the ratings. General McMaster said the threat is immediate. General McMaster also said that Trump didn’t share sensitive intelligence about Israel with the Russians even though he did. Dog days for the McMaster.
Trump is taking credit for Assad not doing a chemical attack. Nikki Haley said the president saved many lives.
The destruction of the state department is well under way. The state department looks like a ghost town. Offices have closed, hallways are empty. People don’t have defined duties. Rex Tillerson is not happy. He doesn’t want anybody telling him what to do. He’s a CEO for God’s sake. He’s top dog and doesn’t take orders from anybody. He’s not supposed to work like a dog – everybody else is supposed to.
UN Ambassador Nikki Haley said that in five short months they’ve cut over half a billion from the UN peacekeeping budget and they’re just getting started! Killing puppies would be a logical next step for such an ambitious ass kisser because the world doesn’t need puppies any more than it does peace.
Trump threw a big fundraiser for himself last night at his DC hotel. As he drove to the hotel with his entourage, protesters yelled at him. Cost to get in? $35,000 a pop. The press couldn’t get in because they’re evil. He’s not only milking donors to pay for his legal defense, he’s making money off of the event. Average, decent Americans are appalled by this. The people inside were not. Doggone it, Wikileaks! Who was at this event? We want names!
Republican hypocrites fun fact: Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s brother tortures dogs.
Mitch McConnell has been busy, working like a dog on his deathcare bill. He’s trying to keep Trump as far away from it as possible because he’ll just screw things up. That hasn’t stopped Trump from commenting on how great everything is and promising a big surprise in a couple of weeks. 39 Republican Senators won’t say if they’re for the bill or not. Only 5 have said they’re for it. McConnell’s threat to Republicans? You better agree to this or we’ll have to work with those dogs, the Democrats.
Senator Dean Heller of Nevada said he would vote NO on McConnell’s bill. Trump’s super pac ran a 6 figure attack dog ad against Heller. Republicans freaked out. What the hell are you doing, running an attack ad against somebody in your own party? Oops, call the dogs off.
Marco Rubio tweeted: “As dogs return to their vomit, so fools repeat their folly. Proverbs 26:11” What the hell does that mean?
The Senate Intelligence Committee is getting the Comey memo. They’re not investigating obstruction of justice so why are they looking at the memo? Release the hounds!
Lassie! Lassie! Find America! Go get her, girl!
The president of the United States has a 35% approval rating and is under FBI investigation. America has gone to the dogs.
It gets worse. He doesn’t even have a dog.