Why?

“Lock Her Up” Michael Flynn was fired by Obama for being an Islamaphobic asshole. That didn’t matter to Twitler. He hired him to be his national security adviser as payback for working on his campaign, where he got the haters all fired up about Islam being a dangerous ideology and Hillary being a criminal. 24 days later, Trump told him, “You’re fired.” He won’t release any information on him and will have to be subpoenaed. Trump is protecting Flynn. Why?

Children refugees must undergo “extreme vetting” but members of Trump’s cabinet do not. Why?

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people who have worked for (or been married to) Trump who have first hand knowledge of Trump’s business dealings and holdings, but not a single person has stepped up to tell what they know. Why?

Trump won’t release White House visitor logs. Why?

Trump has taken a cheap shot at just about every major world leader except Putin. Why?

Trump warns of potential “Major, major conflict” with North Korea. Why?

US economy grew just 0.7 percent in the first quarter, the weakest showing in 3 years. Why?

Jason Chaffetz made himself famous with all of the pointless Benghazi hearings. He put on quite a show. He’s very, very ambitious (nothing says opportunistic like a Jew moving from Southern California to Utah to convert to Mormonism so he could run for office. A Southern Californian Jewish Republican? I don’t think so.) With all of the many opportunities for him to really get his mug out there for the cameras as lead investigator on all things Russian and the inauguration slush fund, he’s ducking out and quitting now. Why?

Trump tweeted that Americans are preparing for summer family vacations but they won’t get to visit any national parks because Democrats. The government is going to get shut down because Democrats. He doesn’t know that the Dems are pretty much powerless as they are outnumbered in both the house and senate. He doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know that? WHY?

Trump had four companies that he ran through bankruptcy. That’s a well known fact. Yet people voted for him “because he’s a business man”. Why?

Fox News personality, Jesse Watters, is taking a little time off after his on air insinuation that the microphone Ivanka was holding was his weiner. We know why.

Arkansas. Republican congressman, Josh Miller, lives in a wheelchair because he was paralyzed from a drunk driving accident in his early twenties. He got through the whole ordeal with the help of Medicare and Medicaid, to the tune of $1 million. He won’t support Obamacare and the Medicaid expansion in his state, though, because he says free loaders will use it to get prescription drugs. Also, Arkansas is killing people left and right in prisons now, too, because the drugs that they use to kill prisoners will expire soon. They’ve just done their fourth execution in eight days. Arkansas, you’re one of the poorest, meanest, dumbest states in the nation. Why?

OK, kids. The 100 day stress test is almost over. I know we’re all exhausted and scared. Just know this: Our civilized society will not go quietly into that dark night. The Resistance is alive and well and we are strong. We will defeat Trump and the Republicans and ultimately save our Republic. Hang in there!

Parting thought: Never give a liar the benefit of the doubt. No need to ask why.

Never let this happen again

The Freedom Caucus has decided to support Trump’s latest health care bill because it’s far meaner and leaner than the other one. For a small premium you get pretty much nothing. No hospitalization, no prescriptions, and if you’re a woman, fuck you – no maternity or baby care. If you have a pre-existing condition you’re screwed. The Freedom Caucus didn’t support the other bill because it didn’t go far enough. What is the Freedom Caucus? The lunatics the Tea Party voted in after Obama was elected. This is what happens when you don’t take an interest in politics – a small group of white nut jobs can elect white nut jobs. The white nut jobs choked the Republican party and led to the rise and (look out!) fall of Trump. Moral of the story? Never, ever, let this happen again. Stay alert and engaged!

The briefing yesterday on North Korea where all 100 senators were bussed over to the White House in a never before seen shock and awe moment of national security urgency? A publicity stunt. That, and Twitler didn’t have to leave his house.

The tax reform plan that Trump is bragging about is the oldest trick in the book for stoners and C students – one page, double spaced, and large indentations. The result? The new plan will save Trump $30 million on his own personal taxes. The last time there was tax reform was in 1986 and Reagan had to work really hard for it – with Democrats. Trump’s plan is something he scribbled out the night before it was due.

Jason Chaffetz is taking a leave from Congress to spend more time with his foot surgeon.

Melania Trump has released her new perfume, “Separate Residences”. Not really. I saw that on Twitter and thought it was hilarious.

Trump has filled 3 dozen of the 1,000 positions he needs to run the government but don’t worry, he says that “Government is coming along very well.”

None of this is normal

Trump has a button he pushes so a butler will bring him a coke. No joke. It’s the no joke coke button. Everybody else in the White House has a panic button.

The Mexican foreign minister says Mexico considers construction of border wall a ‘hostile’ act, and will not contribute in any way. Twitler, the bad hombre, assured his racist followers that they’ll get their wall. Believe me.

Sally Yates will testify on May 8. Unfortunately we won’t be able to watch it because senate hearings are closed. I’d love to be a Super Fly on that wall. It would be such sweet, sweet poetic justice if a woman took the Sexual Predator in Chief down. Pussy Riot American style.

Michael Flynn is in really, really big trouble. When journalists asked Sean Spicer why the White House didn’t vet him thoroughly, he answered that they had – he filled out a form just like any other White House employee. Then they did a background check. That’s not how it works, Spicey. People at that level of government (national security) are vetted so thoroughly that the government checks them as far back as interviewing teachers from elementary school. The White House claims that Flynn was more like a consultant and therefore they don’t have any paperwork on him. If Flynn goes down for lying on security clearance, can Spicer go down for lying about Flynn lying about his security clearance? The committee may have to subpoena the White House. Unpresidented.

A judge in San Francisco blocked Trump from sticking it to sanctuary cities. He can’t withhold federal money to smoke everybody out who isn’t white. Trump’s response? “See you in Supreme Court!”

Trump’s cabinet has more white men in it than any other cabinet since Reagan. That’s fine with his base because that’s the way it should be.

This is not normal. None of this is normal.

What could go wrong?

Trump is going to make a speech today at the US Holocaust Memorial Museum for The Day of the Holocaust Remembrance. What could go wrong?

Trump has summoned all 100 senators to the White House tomorrow for a briefing on North Korea. What could go wrong?

Congressman Adam Schiff and Senator Tim Kaine just sent Trump a letter, addressed to “The President,” asking for legal justification for the Syria strike, reminding him that he’s not the king and that Congress alone has the power to declare war. Let that one sink in – the president of the United States needs to be told in a formal letter that there are limits to his power and that bombs aren’t toys.

America’s favorite Congressman, Ted Lieu, held another town hall where the crowd went crazy with appreciation for a job well done. He just adopted a dog, too. Trump doesn’t even have a dog.

Trump is kicking the wall can down the road until September.

Trump tweeted this morning that Canadian dairy farmers moved our cheese and that they are making the lives of Wisconsin dairy farmers “a living hell.” Build a wall!

The City of New Orleans had to hire Ninjas to take down some racist monuments in the middle of the night because the white supremacists threatened to kill anybody who dared mess with their art.

Ivanka Trump got booed in Berlin at a women’s summit when she talked about how great her father has been for working women. The moderator asked, “What is your role, and who are you representing, your father as president of the United States, the American people, or your business?” Bimbo bingo.

The State Department and two US embassies plugged Mar a Lago, the “Winter White House” on their websites. That went over like a tax payer funded gilded lead balloon. People are pissed.

Trump says his ratings are better than 9/11.

Trump is obsessively trying to remind us that days, like size, don’t matter. “It’s not a big deal even though I’ve accomplished more than any other president ever (he’s a little sensitive about the size of his accomplishments so pretend like you don’t notice.)” He says 100 days is a ridiculous standard and that the media is making a big deal out of it even though he promised 28 things he’d do in the first 100 days during his “Gettysburg Address.” He had the White House release, “President Trump’s 100 Days of Historic Accomplishments” this morning, saying he’s done more to stop government from interfering in the lives of Americans in the first 100 days than any other president in history, that he has done more than any president since FDR through 30 executive actions, and “despite Democrat obstructionism, Trump has worked with Congress to pass more legislation in the first 100 days since Truman.”

Hell hath no fury like a woman who has been grabbed by the pussy by the President of the United States. Look out – .moms, sisters, daughters – we’re all pissed (unless you’re a misogynistic woman who voted for that pig.) 86% of people calling representatives are women, most of the people showing up at town halls and demonstrations are women, and 11,000 women (so far) have decided to run for office.

Congress resumes tomorrow

I hope you’re all rested up from the weekend, because it’s going to be a doozy dinger of a week. Congress resumes tomorrow. The repugs got beat up pretty good by their constituents during spring recess so they’ll be in crappy moods. They’re showing signs of physical stress. Paul Ryan looks like shit. Snicker. I hate that guy.

And:

The intelligence committees are back on track. Comey and Sally Yates have been invited to testify. Here we go!!!!!!!!!!!! We’ll be able to see Russia from the White House!

Trump’s budget needs to get passed this week. If Congress doesn’t approve the funding for his wall, he’ll pitch a fit and not sign off on it. If funding lapses, and the repugs shut down the government, it’ll be the first time in the modern era that the party that runs both the White House and Congress shuts down the government, proving that the Republicans really do stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons (Frank Zappa)

Jason Chaffetz may resign. I smell a Russian rat.

The interview Twitler did with the Associated Press was a DISASTER.

Trump’s first 100 days will be marked on Saturday. He hasn’t done a damn thing except almost start WWIII and make a mockery out of our democracy. To distract his base, he’s throwing himself another rally where he will lie and lie and lie to his faithful followers and they will believe every word of it because they’re that dumb.

People are getting really suspicious about what happened to the $107 million in donations Trump got for his pathetic, dinky inauguration. Obama’s was the biggest ever and it cost $50 million. There is no way Trump spent $107 million on his inauguration – you don’t have to pay high school marching bands to play. This is a slush fund. Who gave and what’s it being used for?

The Reality TV star POTUS took the opportunity to be photographed pinning the purple heart on Army Sergeant First Class Alvaro Barrientos during his first visit to Walter Reed. Sergeant Barrientos had to have his leg amputated after being wounded in Afghanistan. What did he say? “Congratulations, tremendous” as if it was some sort of award. Trump has a purple heart, too. Remember? He got it from a fan on the campaign trail. Obama would honor purple hearts in private whenever he went to Walter Reed. Because, you know, he was a real president.

Per Trump’s tweet on April 22, “Big TAX REFORM AND TAX REDUCTION will be announced next Wednesday.” Late night TV is going to be so rich.

Trump announced he was having dinner with SCOTUS justices on Thursday. Does he want to make a deal?

Climate March on Saturday!