Blinded by the white

The Nazis couldn’t get it up this weekend after they freaked everybody out that there would be more white power rallies throughout the country.

40,000 counter protesters showed up to drown out 100 Nazis during a free speech for haters rally in Boston.The cops put the self-pitying, bitter, celibate not by choice, white men in a park gazebo and made the patriots stand way, way, way back to isolate them. There was nothing but air and grass surrounding the Nazis and they weren’t listening.

The KKK planned a rally in Durham, North Carolina, but nobody showed up. Counter protesters showed up though, and there were a lot of them.

White supremacists are complaining that their lives have been ruined because people shared photos of them at Charlottesville on the internet.

Robert E Lee’s great great grandson is OK with the confederate statues coming down.

When a reporter asked Trump if he was planning on going to Charlottesville he said, “Oh yes, I have a house there – it’s a winery.”

10 sailors missing, 5 sailors injured after USS John S. McCain collides with an oil tanker off the coast of Sinagapore. What did the president say? “That’s too bad.”

The USS Fitzgerald crashed two months ago. Navy radar?
Beep, pling, hello?

Speaker Paul Ryan is doing a carefully scripted and staged town hall tonight which will air on CNN. Don’t expect any tough questions, protesters, or dissidents. This is invitation only.

John Kasich is talking a lot about what he’d do if he were president. He’s one Republican who doesn’t have anything to lose because he already lost.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: “Fearless conservative” Michael Williams wants to be the governor of Georgia.Taking a page out of the Trump campaign playbook, he pandered to the alt-right by posing for a photo with a group of Nazis in costume, holding semi-automatic rifles. One of the Nazis is Michael Ramos, one of the white supremacists caught on tape beating DeAndre Harris in a parking lot during the Charlottesville riot. When asked about the photo on CNN, Michael Williams said, “It’s just a picture.”

Breitbart has lost 90% of its advertisers so Bannon may be working for free.

Look at the bright side, Bannon. No really, look up! Look at the sun! Blinded by the light, revved up like a douche, another runner in the white flight.

Watch Trump try and take credit for the solar eclipse.

Trump can’t spell heal.

Half of the charities that have always held their annual galas at Mar-a-Lago have pulled out. The Eric Trump Foundation is not one of them.

Trump is making a prime time speech tonight about Afghanistan. We’ve been there for 16 years. He was critical of Afghanistan in the past and said we needed a speedy withdrawal. Now he’s trying to figure out how he can benefit from it.

All Trump can think about is getting to go to Phoenix tomorrow where people like him. He’s going to bring Sheriff Arpaio up on stage with him.They like him too.

Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Michigan are sorry now.

House Democrats are pushing to censure Trump because he’s dangerous.

#trumpresign is trending in third place on Twitter.

The gates of hell

STEVE BANNON IS GONE!!!!!!!!

But he’s just gone from the White House. He’s back at Breitbart and has declared war on congress and the media from the outside. Now he gets to blatantly feed Nazis with both hands on his weapon.

Now that the rejoicing is over it’s time to worry about what Bannon will do with the information he received after 7 months of security clearance. What will he give Robert Mercer for his data mining company so he can be more effective in swinging elections? What’s he going to write on the Breitbart website?

There are still a lot of scary people left in the White House and Trump is still president.

Bannon and Trump are still a couple. Bannon is going to go after Trump’s enemies on Capitol Hill, the media, and the business leaders who snubbed his man.

Mueller is getting close. If things go as planned, Trump will be a white nationalist martyr after everything Russia hits the fan.

293 members of the Yale class of 1985 have signed a letter asking their former classmate, Treasury Secretary, Steven Mnuchin, to resign.

Duke University removed its statue of Robert E. Lee from its chapel.

Southern rock granddaddy Charlie Daniels compares the removal of confederate statues to ISIS destroying ancient works of art.The devil went down to Georgia and took Charlie out to lunch.

The great, great grandsons of Stonewall Jackson say the monuments must come down. It’s not erasing history, they say, it’s coming to our senses. “We are ashamed to benefit from white supremacy while our black family and friends suffer.”

Nazis are whining about their lives being ruined after photos of them beating people up and screaming about white supremacy in Charlottesville have trended on social media.

The average gun nut owns 8 guns because they’re nuts.

America is bracing itself for more violence this weekend.There are more scheduled Nazi demonstrations around the country.
Republican hypocrite fun fact: Vice President Mike Pence supports the president.

Every man in Trump’s inner circle is gone except for Mike Pence.

Mike Pence is talking in his sleep, “Take me, take me, President Pence, President Pence.”

Tony Schwartz, the guy who wrote Trump’s book for him, “Art of the Deal,” says it won’t be long before Trump quits because he’s a quitter.

Trump and the third lady are going to blow off the Kennedy Center Honors this year because everybody hates them.

The gates of hell are about to open. Boy won’t the Nazi evangelicals be surprised when they find out Jesus is a no show.

History and pigs blood

Day #210

Not to be outdone by the terrorist in Charlottesville, a terrorist in Barcelona, Spain, drove his car into a crowd of people on a public street, killing one American. How did our president respond? He tweeted! “Study what General Pershing of the United States did to terrorists when caught. There was no more Radical Islamic Terror for 35 years!” Gag us with pig blood why don’t you. The president is an idiot and doesn’t know the first thing about history (he got this story from an email chain, it was an internet hoax. General Pershing did not dip bullets in pig blood and shoot 49 Muslim terrorists.) He’s the freaking president – get off of freaking Twitter and say something smart and strong to the world you pig’s ass!

The White House staff better lock Trump in the bathroom so he won’t threaten to bomb Barcelona.

Trump called driving a car into a crowd in Barcelona terrorism but driving a car into a crowd of protesters in Charlottesville is not.

The United States military denounced the president on Twitter to protect the country. This is another first – joint chiefs usually stay out of politics.

Trump has given aid and comfort to homegrown terrorists.

Heather Heyer’s mom has no interest in talking to the president after he likened her daughter and peaceful protesters with the KKK.

Heather Heyer’s mom has received death threats.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Paul Ryan is mum on Trump defending Nazis. It’s not because he’s new at this either. Tina Fey called him a pussy while eating an entire sheet cake on TV.

Corey Stewart is running against Tim Kaine in Virginia. He agrees with Trump. He says the left is trying to destroy the constitution by destroying confederate statues. “I am going to run the most vicious, ruthless campaign.” Corey has a grudge. His campaign stylist has recommended khakis and white polo shirts.

The confederate statues glorify and celebrate those who fought against the United States. They were erected during Jim Crow. They all need to come down. America needs a Museum of Truth where we tell the whole story. We need to rewrite our school history books, too. It’s time to teach our kids about genocide and slavery.

Politicians need to stop using soft words like, disappointed, unfortunate, disturbing, when commenting about the president of the United States. We need strong words and ACTION.

Members of the White House presidential arts commission are resigning because of Trump’s big ugly mouth.

There is no advisory council for infrastructure now. That’s because nobody wants to be associated with this ass except for Nazis, Republicans and flat earthers.

Former Vice President Al Gore has called upon Trump to resign.

Mental health professionals say they’re seeing a lot of depression, anxiety and fear because of Trump. Most people are scared he’s going to get us all killed. The rest are afraid others will find out they voted for Trump.

The Cleveland Clinic has cancelled its plans to hold its 2018 fundraising gala at Mar-a-Lago. They have been holding their annual event there for years.

“He’s going to Phoenix to start a riot. He needs a riot to declare martial law. He needs martial law to stay in office” – Steve Marmel

Was it “identity politics” when America entered the war to defeat the Nazis?

A guerilla artist projected a message on the front of Trump’s international hotel: The President of the United States is a known racist and Nazi sympathizer. This is not a drill. We are all responsible to stand up and end white supremacy. #resist

Republicans and Trump voters deserve all of this but the rest of us don’t.

CEO president

The latest group that Trump has pissed off are the HARD CORE, CUT THROAT, FILTHY RICH CAPITALISTS! He has managed to piss off his own!

Trump’s manufacturing council died before it ever lived. All of the CEOs jumped ship because denouncing white supremacy is good for business (except Walmart. The CEO is from Arkansas and profits from semi-slave labor.) Trump dissolved the council to save face.

The Trump voters’ “CEO president” is not a good business man and America’s top CEOs want nothing to do with him. Let that sink you, you hard core, cut throat, filthy rich capitalist wanna bes!

Apple’s CEO Tim Cook says Apple will donate $1 million each to the Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti Defamation League.

The evangelical council is still going strong. What the HELL does that mean?

Jared and Ivanka’s rabbi denounced Trump.

University of Florida canceled a white supremacist event. Richard Spencer: Go home.

Trump didn’t attend Heather Heyer’s funeral. We should be upset but we’re not. If he went he would have ruined everything.

“Millions of Americans would gladly work for Robert Mueller for free if that would help speed things up” – Andy Borowitz

Republican hypocrite fun fact: The Republicans are more concerned about their own asses than they are about any of ours.

Elaine Chau (Mitch the Bitch’s wife) is Trump’s Transportation Secretary. “I stand by my man, both of them,” she said.

It’s really swell that a handful of Republicans have stuck their necks out to denounce white supremacy to be quoted endlessly by the media, but one of the Democratic Party’s core values is all for one and one for all – black, white, brown, red, yellow, gay, straight, trans, young, old, rich, poor, disabled, abled, immigrant, Christian, Jew, Muslim, atheist, other, WHATEVER! You don’t even have to have a sense of humor to be a Democrat but most of us do. We make Nazis’ heads explode.

If welfare recipients have to be drug tested, then white supremacists should be DNA tested. Nobody is pure anything and some of them might find out that have a little African in them.

One of the skinny, pasty white supremacists at Charlottesville was caught on camera squealing and pleading with a group of counter protesters he feared would beat the crap out of him. He pulled off his white polo shirt and said, “I’m not really a white power man, I just came here for the fun. Please don’t hurt me!” After the group backed off he resumed his tough white supremacist persona and walked away, shirtless, as the sun burned his pasty, unused soft white back.

Trump wants to do a pep rally in Phoenix next week. The mayor said no, we don’t want you here. Trump is going to do it anyway because he is jonesing for love and attention right now. It’s his drug and he has to have it NOW. He’s got to have his fix. While he’s high, making his “speech,” he’s sure to say he’ll pardon racist Sheriff Arpaio just so he can hear the room full of racists roar.

While in office, Trump cancelled Ramadan at the White House and completely ignored Pride Month. He put a ban on Muslims entering the country and is dead set on building a wall to keep brown people out. But he’s not a hater, right Trump voters?

Black people are only 10% of the population. The same with the LGBTQ community. Muslims make up only 1%. So why are Republicans so obsessed with these groups? Are the blacks, the gays and the Muslims taking over? Democrats say no.

To everyone who says, “I’m not racist, but _______,” STFU. You’re racist.

If you’re not uncomfortable right now – you need to ask yourself why.

Have you punched a Nazi today?

There is no war on white people

Trump was confronted by reporters at his gilded tower in New York and he not only shot himself in the foot, he shot his foot right off. Everybody thought he was going to talk about infrastructure but he went off on the media and the “alt-left.” He was defensive and rude, growled at the press like a wild dog, and was his real bully self. He really lost it – “What’s next? Taking down statues of George Washington? Where does it stop?”

The White House staff was shocked that Trump said stuff in public that he says all the time in private.

General Kelly looked like he was going to cry.

He doesn’t know the difference between George Washington and Robert E. Lee.

The president of the United States actually defended a white supremacists rally, saying people were there to protect “a very important statue.”

Lexington, Jacksonville, Durham, Memphis, Baltimore, and Annapolis are all knocking down their confederate statues.

A black woman who was involved in toppling a confederate statue was arrested. None of the white supremacists who almost clubbed a black man to death (on camera) have been arrested.

There aren’t any statues of Hitler in Germany.

6 CEOs have resigned from Trump’s Alliance for Manufacturing advisory board because of Charlottesville.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Denouncing Nazis is easy.
Denounce Trump.

The moral failure of Donald Trump is now complete. It’s a moral reckoning for the Republicans. What’s it going to be? America or Trump?

“Counter protesters are the alt-left. They’re just as much to blame” – Robert E. Trump

“Trump can’t be a white supremacist sympathizer because he has Jewish grand kids” – Trump supporter

“Nazis are a lot like cats. If they like you, it’s probably because you’re feeding them” John Oliver

“Lincoln: 4 score and 7 seven years ago……
FDR: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
JFK: Ask not what your country can do for you…….
Trump: Actually the Nazis had a permit” – Mike Stazzman, with edits by Peter Sullivan

Trump’s approval rating with Republicans is in the high 70s. That means racists are everywhere. They’re not all marching in the streets with lit torches, wearing the MAGA red hat, or defending Trump on Facebook. They’re sitting next to you at work, in the PTA, at your family reunion, living in your neighborhood. Ewwww.

Nine more Nazi rallies are scheduled for this weekend.

50,000 masked klansmen marched through the streets of Washington DC in 1926. Trump’s dad marched with them in 1927 and got arrested. Trump denies it even though there is a public record of it.

President Obama’s tweet after Charlottesville is the most liked tweet in history. That is going to ruin Trump’s day but he’ll deny it and say he’s got the most likes.

Somebody vandalized the Lincoln Memorial.

Trump said Heather Heyer’s mom said nice things about him.

There is no war on white people.

Louis CK on being white:

Sorry I’m being so negative. I’m a bummer. I don’t know–I shouldn’t be. I’m a very, you know, lucky guy. I’ve got a lot going for me: I’m healthy, I’m relatively young, I’m white…which, thank God for that shit, boy. That is a huge leg up. Are you kidding me? Oh, God, I love being white. I really do. Seriously, if you’re not white, you’re missing out. Because this shit is thoroughly good. Let me be clear, by the way. I’m not saying that white people are better. I’m saying that being white is clearly better. Who could even argue? If it was an option, I would re-up every year.

Oh, yeah, I’ll take ‘white’ again, absolutely. I’ve been enjoying that. I’m gonna stick with white, thank you.

Here’s how great it is to be white: I can get in a time machine and go to any time, and it would be fucking awesome when I get there! That is exclusively a white privilege. Black people can’t fuck with time machines! A black guy in a time machine’s like, “Hey, anything before 1980, no thank you. I don’t want to go.” But I can go to any time! The year 2. I don’t even know what’s happening then, but I know when I get there, “Welcome, we have a table right here for you, sir.”

“Thank you. Oh, it’s lovely here in the year 2.”

I can go to any time–in the past. I don’t want to go to the future and find out what happens to white people because we’re gonna pay hard for this shit, you got to know that. We’re not going to just fall from number one to two. They’re gonna hold us down and fuck us in the ass forever. And we totally deserve it. But for now, wheeeeeeee!

Now, if you’re white and you don’t admit that it’s great, you’re an asshole. It is great. And I’m a man. How many advantages could one person have? I’m a white man. You can’t even hurt my feelings! What can you really call a white man that really digs deep?

“Hey, cracker.”

“Uh. Ruined my day. Boy you shouldn’t have called me a cracker. Bringing me back to owning land and people, what a drag.”

Racists bad speech writers good

After 48 hours, the president of the United States finally did a press event (not an actual press conference because he refused to take any questions) to say that racism is bad, but not before lying about how great things are because of him. When confronted about why he won’t do a real press conference and take questions about Charlottesville by Jim Acosta of CNN, he told Acosta that he was fake news. After Trump went back to the dump, he turned on the TV and tweeted, “Made additional remarks on Charlottesville and realize once again that the #Fake News Media will never be satisfied…truly bad people!”

Here we go again. Trump read a speech written by somebody else and didn’t go off script so now the talking heads are saying he sounds “presidential.” The bar is so low for this guy that it’s buried under ground with sewer lines.

The conservative talking heads say the media is making too much out of Charlottesville – this stuff happens all the time. They also say that people are picking on their president – “He’s the president for all people.” All people say WHAT?

Paul Ryan tweeted empty political rhetoric about Charlottesville. John Legend tweeted back, “Impeach the white supremacist in the White House or STFU.”

The hoodless dipshits are not fringe characters or lone wolves who have found their packs. They are pampered, entitled, self-righteous brats with jobs and college transcripts, who hate everybody who isn’t white.

For a superior master race, these white boys in polo shirts and khakis are pretty freaking stupid.

Follow @YesYoureRacist on Twitter and check out the names and faces of the polo shirt, khaki wearing, tiki torch carrying, cry babies who have been identified in Charlottesville. Then RETWEET!

Some guy smashed Boston’s Holocaust Memorial with a rock.

Trump is being bribed by Putin on the outside and Bannon on the inside. If he fires Bannon, Bannon will take him down with his little website, Breitbart.

After 72 hours, Trump finally got around to saying the KKK are bad hombres. He should have said it in a New York minute, like anybody else would, but he didn’t want to piss off his base.

Trump is in New York now. He was greeted by protesters yelling, “New York hates you!” He’s been avoiding New York because he knows New York hates him. That, and the state attorney general is on to him.

This morning, Trump re-tweeted, then deleted, an image of a train smashing into a person with the CNN logo over his face.

Jimmy Fallon denounced Trump for not handling the Nazi thing well. Calling Mexicans rapists and drug dealers is different though. He went ahead and played with his hair.

On the same day that he “denounced” racists, Trump told Fox News that he’s considering pardoning fellow birther Sheriff Arpaio.

A 23-year-old white man was arrested in Oklahoma after he tried to blow up a bank using a vehicle bomb similar to the one that Timothy McVeigh used. “I’m out for blood,” the homegrown terrorist said.

If you attended the Women’s March the day after the inauguration, the Department of Justice wants to know your personal information. It’s trying to get the names and contact information of 1.3 million people who visited an anti-Trump website hosted by DreamHost.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Behind the scenes, the repugs are wondering if their guy is unfit to lead. They won’t say it to us, but they wonder if he’s incompetent. This is ironic because the rest of us knew that way back in 2016 when we all thought there was no way he could win.

We are all far more likely to be murdered by a twenty something American white guy or a toddler with a gun than we are of getting killed by ISIS, immigrant gangs, or a homeless crack addict.

Good triumphs over evil

The Unite the Right riot was not a demonstration that turned violent. The Nazis planned it. They showed up wearing helmets and carrying shields. After it was over, they scattered like cockroaches and headed back home, far away from Charlottesville. They’ll meet up again in other cities, as planned.

Photos of individual Nazis at the rally are circulating on the internet, outing them as white supremacists. Cole White (yes, that’s his real name) has already lost his job. Repost! Good triumphs over evil.

Is Trump going to pay Unite the Right’s legal fees? He said he would way back when he pandered to them during his campaign.

How did the alt-right respond to the murder of Heather Heyer? They called her names.

Unite the Right rally organizer, Jason Kessler, tried to hold a press conference at City Hall afterwards but nobody could hear him because the protesters were yelling so loud he couldn’t talk. “GO HOME! MURDERER!” They chased him into the bushes and straight out of town. Good triumphs over evil.

Vigils and rallies sprang up all over the country to denounce white supremacy and honor Heather Heyer. Good triumphs over evil.

Meet the Press quoted Republicans condemning the violence at Charlottesville, but none of the Democrats. This is very Meet the Press like. Stupid show.

General McMaster tried to cover Trump’s ass on Meet the Press by saying the president “meant” to say white supremacists are bad.

The White (Supremacist) House said that groups “on both sides” showed up looking for trouble in Charlottesville. There is only one side.

GoDaddy is kicking the Daily Caller, a white supremacist website, to the curb. They won’t host hate. Good triumphs over evil.

James Alex Fields killed Heather by driving his car into her. His mom was surprised. She couldn’t believe that he would attend a white supremacist rally because he has an African American friend.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Republican politicians have introduced laws making it easier to drive your car into crowds of people legally.

The Dept of Homeland Security reneged on a $400,000 grant to combat white supremacy hate crimes.

No person of color says, “Let it go – get over it, move on.” Only white people who don’t know what “it” is say it.

Tiki released a statement condemning the use of their product by Nazis. They wanted to make sure that everybody understood that all they want to do is make summer backyard parties more enjoyable. Good tikis triumph over white supremacist torches.

“The pajama boys are out and the alpha males are back” – Trump’s Nazi sympathizing adviser, Sebastian Gorka.

Trump has called the FBI, CIA, and NSA Nazis but he hasn’t called Nazis Nazis.

Ivanka Trump blocked Congressman Ted Lieu on Twitter. Ted Lieu triumphs over evil by association.

Immigrants are fearful of the police, white nationalists have taken to the streets to provoke violence and kill liberals, we’re at the brink of nuclear war, black people are getting shot in the streets by cops without consequence, Muslims are labeled as terrorists, the Republican party is gerrymandering districts and suppressing non-white voters who would never vote for them, Putin is bribing our inept, deranged president, and still there are people who are either keeping their mouths shut, saying “give him a chance,” or worse, defending him.

Politically correct, safe platitudes are not called for at this time. Call white supremacy out and punch hate right in the face.

Lexington, Kentucky is taking down its confederate monuments. Good triumphs over evil.

Heather Heyer’s last words on Facebook were “if you’re not outraged you’re not paying attention.” Good triumphs over evil.

Donald Trump has brought out the best and the worst in us. If you haven’t picked a side yet, now is the time. Pick a side. Good or evil?

White lies

White supremacists, mostly young white males from around the country, made America great again with their Uinite the Right Rally in Charlottesville, Virgina over the weekend. 35 were hurt and 3 were killed. The mayor and governor denounced the act of terrorism and called it what it was – white supremacy, but the president did not. In a formal, prepared statement that was written for him he said the usual stuff a president is supposed to say during times like this but then he riffed for a little bit and went off script inferring that white supremacists are not fully to blame.

“I’m not going to make any bones about it. I place the blame for a lot of what you’re seeing in American today right at the doorstep of the White House and the people around the president” – Mike Signer, Charlottesville’s mayor.

“There is no place for you here. There is no place for you in America.” Terry McAuliffe, Virginia’s governor.

“………bigotry and violence on many sides, on many sides.” – Trump

Protesters threw their own pee at reporters. Nobody wore white hoods because they don’t have to.They’re front and center now, thanks to the WHITE house.

The Nazis are very pleased with the way Trump handled the violence in Charlottesville. “He’s with us.”

After the rally, alt-right leader Richard Spencer tweeted that they hate the cops and the government.

The KKK can spew hateful rhetoric and threaten people, while openly carrying loaded guns in Charlottesville because it’s legal. A single Nazi has more rights than the entire Black Lives Matter movement.

The NAACP is calling on Trump to take the steps to remove Steve Bannon as his adviser because he is a well known white supremacist leader. Steve Bannon helped build this movement by creating the white supremacist website, Breitbart News. He gave them a huge platform. This is all going according to plan.

Trump started this whole thing with the birther movement.

Klansman David Duke was at the rally and was very impressed. He said, “We are fulfilling the promise made by Donald Trump – we’re taking our country back. White America put him into office.”

Trump could “shoot” somebody in Charlottesville and he wouldn’t lose any support.

Sebastian Gorka, one of Trump’s supposed top counterterrorism advisers, wore an honorary medal of the Hungarian white nationalist organization, Vitezi Rend, to the Inaugural Ball.

Confederates defending a statue of Robert E. Lee want the Women’s March, Indivisible, Resist, and the Democrats to get over it because they won.

The organizer of the Nazi march in Charlottesville is Jason Kessler. He met with Congressman Tom Garrett of the 5th District in Virginia awhile back and got his picture taken with him. Tom Garret is a member of the Freedom Caucus. He’s a far right whack job.

The name of the young woman who was murdered by a white supremacist is Heather Heyer. She was killed when a domestic terrorist drove his car into a crowd of real Americans protesting the KKK. She was 32. She died confronting evil during the Trump era.

CBS News said the racist who killed Heather was arrested for a “fatal wreck.”

The President of the United States is a fatal wreck.

If a Muslim drove a car into a crowd of peaceful protesters, Trump and CBS would say it was an act of terrorism. And then Trump would call all Muslims terrorists and CBS would report, “Was this an act of Muslim terrorism? Tune in tonight!”

Trump finally got around to tweeting his condolences with “best regards.”

Another protest and counter protest is going to take place today in Seattle.

A Nazi Free Speech Rally is scheduled for August 19 in Boston.

A White Lives Matter demonstration is scheduled for September 11 at Texas A & M in College Station, TX.

90 years ago Trump’s father was arrested at a KKK riot in Queens.

There are only two things that Trump hasn’t publicly condemned or attacked since becoming president: Vladimir Putin and white supremacists.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Jeff Sessions condemned the Unite the Right violence.

In the words of the late Anthony Scaramucci, the fish stinks from the head down.Trump is a Smelly Whitefish.They only swim up Shit Creek. Everybody who stepped into the voting booth knew it before they pulled the trigger.

The wheels on the bus

Economically disadvantaged white people descended upon the University of Virginia carrying lit tiki torches they bought at Pier One Imports chanting, “White Lives Matter” and “Jews Will Not Replace Us.” You sure told us, oppressed white people. Now go back to your mothers’ basements where you came from.

Hillary Clinton was right. Trump supporters are deplorable.

If black people showed up carrying lit torches they’d be met by the National Guard.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: Alt-right means nazi.

15,000 people visit the island of Guam every day during peak tourist season.They’re being told now that their vacations may be cut short by a nuclear bomb. If a bomb drops, they’ve been instructed to take a shower right away, but when they do they’re not to use conditioner because it could bind the radioactive material. Oh and don’t look at the flashing light because it could blind you.Trump told the governor of Guam he’s lucky because tourism is going to increase. What to the hell?

Trumpsters get off on Trump’s tough talk on North Korea but have no problem with his lips being sealed on Russia.That’s because they can’t think for themselves and Trump knows it.

Low information voters call liberals commies but could care less about Russiagate.

Trump says it may be time to take military action in Venezuala.

All of this talk about bombing the shit out of everybody is because Robert Mueller is closing in on him and instead of throwing up his hands and saying, “Don’t shoot,” he’s waving his hands like a mad man saying, “I’m gonna shoot! I’m gonna shoot!”

Sebastian Gorka gets the prize for being the creepiest member of the Kremlin Klan.He makes $155,000 a year but nobody knows what he does.Nobody even knows if he has security clearance.If Rex Tillerson knew what he was doing he’d make sure that Dorka Gorka got the boot.

Former Secretary of Defense, CIA Director, and White House Chief of Staff, Leon Panetta, says that this is the most dangerous time in the country since the 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis.

“If everybody in this country voted the Democrats would be in for the next 100 years” – John Kenneth Galbraith

Trump’s password is password.

Trump says that General Kelly is his friend.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders said Trump was just being sarcastic when he said Putin was reducing our payroll.When reporters asked Trump if he was being sarcastic, he said no. Trump is not smart enough to be sarcastic.

The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go round and round, all through the town.
The president on the bus goes tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. The president on the bus goes tweet tweet tweet, all through the town.
Mitch the Bitch goes you better shut up, you better shut up, you better shut up. Mitch the Bitch goes you better shut up all through the town
The Speaker of the House goes Yes Sir Sir, Yes Sir Sir, Yes Sir Sir. The Speaker of the House goes Yes Sir Sir all through the town.
The citizen on the bus screams HELP HELP HELP, HELP HELP HELP, HELP HELP HELP. The citizen on the bus screams HELP HELP HELP all through the town
The journalist on the bus says WTF, WTF, WTF. The journalist on the bus says WTF WTF WTF all through the town
Mitch the Bitch, Speaker of the House, citizen and journalist get thrown under the bus, under the bus, under the bus. Mitch the Bitch, Speaker of the House, citizen and journalist get thrown under the bus on the outskirts of town.
The Russian on the bus thinks Попался Попался Попался, Попался Попался Попался, The Russian on the bus thinks Попался Попался Попался as the wheels fall off the bus.

No Spikes allowed

Trump is jealous of Kim Jong-un because he doesn’t have a congress.

Trump says his fire and fury threat may not have been tough enough. “North Korea better get its act together or they’re going to be in big trouble.”

White House adviser Sebastian Gorka told everybody not to listen to Secretary of State Rex Tillerson. We should not sleep soundly, we should lie awake at night and worry about fire and fury.

Trump’s first tweet of the day? We’re locked and loaded. Bring it on, North Korea.

Former Fox News anchor and current State Department spokesperson Heather Nauert told the press that she was done answering questions about American diplomats going deaf in Cuba. Could it have been Russia? Is this sonic warfare? Heather lost her cool. Enough! I’m not answering any more questions about Cuba. Or North Korea! You guys are obsessed with North Korea! Heather’s job is to answer questions about Cuba and North Korea.

Trump has apparently hired Putin to be the head of HR. After 11 days Trump has finally made a statement about Putin expelling 755 American diplomats from Moscow – “Thank you. We’re trying to cut down on payroll. We’ll save a lot of money.”

When asked about the FBI raid on his campaign manager’s house Trump said, “That’s tough stuff. I’ve always known Paul Manafort to be a decent man.” Meanwhile, Trump’s attorney made a public statement saying that what the FBI did to Paul Manafort was an invasive tool used to intimidate Paul Manafort.

The special counsel has subpoenaed international banks.

Trump is picking a fight with Mitch McConnell. He said he should have had a bill to repeal Obamacare on his desk within his first week.

Walmart’s Back To School special? “Own the School Year Like a Hero. Buy a Gun.”

Trump says that all of the infighting in the White House is just folks vying for his attention and love. He’s “honored” by it. Because he’s a sadist.

Bomb shelter manufacturers are running out of bomb shelters.

The people of Guam are being prepped on what to do if they get bombed by North Korea.

Half of all Republicans would postpone the 2020 election if Trump wanted it.

CNN finally fired Jeffrey Lord for taking a dump on Trump’s desk. He tweeted a Nazi salute, the sieg heil, to someone he couldn’t win an argument with.

Why hasn’t Twitter suspended Trump’s account yet?

Jimmy Carter sold his one and only business before getting to be president. Carter worked for peanuts and gave them up. Trump works for rubles and wouldn’t give them up if his life depended on it.

Mississippi loves that Donald Trump doesn’t give a crap because good old Dixie values include not giving a crap. In the Bubba Belt people wade in Mississippi River poop. Mississippi River poop – it’s a thing.

Republican hypocrite fun fact: As the rhetoric ramps up between nuts with nukes, Republicans seem unconcerned. They’re all home in their districts, avoiding their constituents.

With all of the talk about North Korea we’re not talking about Russia.

We should be pushing Hillary to the left right now instead of fighting fascism. Thanks a lot Trump voters and the purists who refused to vote because they thought they were making some sort of statement.

The sign on the front door of every Trump golf club: “No Spikes Allowed.”